Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, it's my 37th birthday. I was an honor student in high school, went to a top university, accruing a bunch of debt, and got trapped working jobs I hate. All because my teachers told me I was too smart for state school. The drug addicts I went to high school with live a more stable life than I do. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was, "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML
Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML
Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dalliance 4
I am not surprised.
thatnucca 36
At least it's weed and not sweaty man balls...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
Bethhh13 1
Does the word college not mean anything? Give her some time to settle in and she'll learn. She's 18, I'm sure she'll figure it out!
yzf250rider88 2
It's not the school that makes the education worth while it's the students ad what they do with it. The professors can only do so much so maybe you need to have a talk... Just saying
hahachun 4
I believe there are peer reviewed studies on a positive correlation between moderated weed use and iq
Red_Eyed 3
weeds great :)
hypuuurness 6
verrrry greeat (;
iPunchedBigFoot 5
Can't push your dreams on ur kids
dbsoundman 3
I can hear the helicopters now...(helicopter parents anyone?)
1badws6 0
Wow she should of learned that years ago .
Salvaka 0
This is all your fault. Parents show know that unless their child wants thier help, they should butt out of their educational lives. That's the way my parents are with me, and I hate every minute of my college life. My dad has me studying to become a real estate agent when I want to become a veterinarian. Is it to much to ask?
lulzworthy 3
The American Education system is a joke, pot is infinitely more valuable.
cthulhu1138 1
Meh, college freshmen tend to screw around a bit but most straighten out. And there are a ton of intelligent, hard-working students who smoke pot from time to time. Students aren't exactly monks who spend their days buried in their books.