Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, it's my 37th birthday. I was an honor student in high school, went to a top university, accruing a bunch of debt, and got trapped working jobs I hate. All because my teachers told me I was too smart for state school. The drug addicts I went to high school with live a more stable life than I do. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was, "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML
Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML
Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
I am not surprised.
thatnucca 36
At least it's weed and not sweaty man balls...
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Comments (128)
AFuckinCrocodile 6
Well **** your life,should have adopted an asian.... let the angry anti racist replies begin lol
chellexx 0
If she just started, there hasn't been much time to learn anything. Chill out, once the teachers are done going over the syllabus and introductions, she will start learning. You are being very over dramatic.
niceNnerdy 5
Damm, give her some time to learn stuff; you only dropped her off today.
chellexx 0
I bet the person who posted this fml Is one of those parents who beats their kid for getting an A-. They seriously think their life is so damn hard because Their kid goes to college for ONE day and hadn't learned anything? Good grief. I'm guessing this person didn't go To college if they really believe their kid would be learning a lot in just one day. It's rare especially in freshman courses to dive straight into work on the first day.
niceNnerdy 5
I think the word you are looking for my friend is 'Asian'.
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Since all FMLs begin with "today" I think it's safe to say that the OP didn't drop their daughter off, drive home then scream in rage at the lack of knowledge. And it's possible this occured last year, or while school was in session. Just because it's posted today doesn't mean it happened today. Sometimes when my mom says "yesterday" or "the other day" she doesn't literally mean the day that immediately passed. Just saying. Hate to be the voice of reason here.
Bladian 5
Well, considering the FML was posted right around the time most college kids move in, I'd say your logic is flawed.
mattbrady2011 0
Punch your daughter.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
She's learning personal enlightenment inside that cloud of smoke. It's nothing to take lightly.
enonymous 9
She's studying vegetation and the local flora as this years minor. Next year she will be studying physics while doing a keg stand and figure how much volume of beer and frat boy sausage she can consume
Sunny_Eclipse 6
I see what you did there.
rainbowbarf5 0
spending a lot of money on an education doesn't guarantee your kid wants to learn
sens_fml 1
Screw the university, it's California babe !!!
radarie 6
You don't have to smoke to know what weed smells like... But, If you don't want her to party then why did you send her away to college? That's not to say EVERYONE parties in college.. But really, the majority do. Kids are taking advantage of the freedom.
paprikacha 9
That depends on the school. And it really isn't the difference between public and private school - I went to a public college (GA Tech) and the only people who spent most of their time partying were the sorority/feat people. I get sorta sick of the media/movies portraying all college experiences as students drinking, slutting it up, and living like slobs. Some of us don't do that shit (save for a party here or there or hanging out with friends) because SURPRISE! We're paying money to actually learn.
krez 20
You're paying money for a piece of paper. College doesn't really teach you anything you couldn't have learned on your own but for much cheaper.
paprikacha 9
It might be harder to learn aeronautical engineering on your own. Not that you can't do anything you put your mind to...but I'd prefer the guy working on my plane be formally trained. ._.
bsharp1 1
**** you krez
ReynshineCutting 10
That piece of paper is worth a helluva lot of money though. Sure I could have learned how to artificially inseminate mares on my own or freeze semen with liquid nitrogen, but that piece of paper shows clients I know what the hell I'm doing and will get me a much better job. Not to mention, I wouldn't want to go to the doctor and find out he learned it all on his own.
QueenQuay77 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
weed is awesome but what's happening wit ur daughters not
elmousey 5
That makes a lot of sense. You say weed is awesome, but OPs daughter smelling it is not? What exactly is "happening" to her?
QueenQuay77 10
let me explain myself, since her daughter wasn't brought up not in the hood and had potential to make something of herself and then all she gonna do is smoke weed, dats very bad. but since I was the opposite, weed was my scapegoat, it help me forget about my problems so it's awesome for me. as for her daughter she just fell into peer pressure which is very bad especially at her age.