Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, it's my 37th birthday. I was an honor student in high school, went to a top university, accruing a bunch of debt, and got trapped working jobs I hate. All because my teachers told me I was too smart for state school. The drug addicts I went to high school with live a more stable life than I do. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was, "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML
Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML
Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
I am not surprised.
thatnucca 36
At least it's weed and not sweaty man balls...
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Comments (128)
mixedcookies 1
Lmfao I learned what weed smells like when I was 2 , I started smoking it when I was 12
brianjman14 23
I'm all for smoking weed, but starting at the age of 12 is a REALLY bad idea.....
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Why would you even WANT to? What the **** is the point?? I love weed as much as anyone, but I am at that age where you just need it to take the edge off a hard day. I know some kids like you mentioned though. Three young brothers whose father grows weed in a closet. All completely brainless idiots.
Oniat 2
^ This. Doing any drug THAT early in life, while your brain is still developing, is probably the dumbest thing you can do for yourself. Just because it's more "harmless" than cigarettes doesn't make it safe, especially when you're still developing. Twenty-somethings doing it are safer in that their brains are fully developed.
Petunia888 13
79: so what drug are you on that makes you look like that? :D
BoxTops11 0
Haha i learned wat weed smelled likke when i was 12.... She will be just fine. Give her time to actually learn something.
annii94 2
Lady.. Michael phelps did weed
SmittyJA24 26
Y'all are focused on the "weed" aspect of OP's post; I'm laughing at her concept that UC Berkeley is "the best public university in the US." Egad. I'll go so far as to state: it's the best public university in the Peoples Republic of California who want to major in Liberal Arts... and rolling doobies.
buckie123 3
Thats a valuable skill! -hooray for University!-
Airch 9
Mate, it's only first year. That's what it's for. Calm down. She'll be aright.
lys1982 2
I'm 29 years old, don't smoke weed and never directly have, and I knew what that stuff smelled like WELL before the age of 18 - did you have your daughter prisoner?
atlanta_lex 0
Why is OP's username berzerkelyBONGbabe, but she's complaining about her daughter learning what weed smells like?
bwa2012 0
Lol dnt bring her down to Cali man it's circulated over here 24/7
TobyFunke 3
how the heck would this idiot know that information. FML... today, I'm a whiny parent who is sure that every time my 18 year old daughter doesn't pick up the phone she has a penis in her mouth and her **** out for a crowd of idiotic frat boys... in reality she was probably just taking a shit