Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, it's my 37th birthday. I was an honor student in high school, went to a top university, accruing a bunch of debt, and got trapped working jobs I hate. All because my teachers told me I was too smart for state school. The drug addicts I went to high school with live a more stable life than I do. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was, "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML
Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML
Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
I am not surprised.
thatnucca 36
At least it's weed and not sweaty man balls...
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Comments (128)
MaskedAspen 6
took her eighteen years to find out ?
thisiskindafunny 8
She's 18 and didn't know what weed smells like? Shoot, I found out when I started highschool at 13
DOKTRK 7
They should legalize weed just so that the people who do it will shut up.
skyiscool 0
THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!! But that really isn't a bad thing
Ashelizabethh 8
I am so happy that keevarou kid finally shut up he made a fool out of himself.
evilteddybear 0
the weed is why the skool is expensive
Alldreeezy 3
At least her grades will be high!
superbee662 0
there's a time and a place for everything and its called college
neveragain234 1
what a nice way to put it, I would have posted; Today, I found out my daughter is a druggie. but yeah, I guess yours is better :/
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, No offense; I have nothing but the utmost respect for your struggles in what you've been able to achieve for your daughter's prospects, however... your evaluation of higher academic learning and your daughter's role in it seem... presumptuous. Yes, you struggled to give her this opportunity. And sure, maybe you had/have the right to expect a little bit more from this 'best public university in the U.S.' you're citing, buuuuuut... your daughter is now 18. A legal adult. If she decides the *only* thing she wants to do at the best public university in the U.S. is get high, guess what...? My point is this: I ramble, and your struggles are only worth one thing. You gave that one thing to your daughter; it's called 'a shot'. For her to figure out who she is, weed out (oh yeah) the useful information from the bullshit she's going to have to memorize at that school, and make the happiest life for herself that she can. Shed your assumptions now, because the only expectation you have *any* right to claim from your daughter is for her to make use of the abilities you helped her to cultivate to the best of *her* judgement, in the pursuit of *her* happiness. FYL. ...and honestly, none of us have any right to expect *any* quality or standards from accredited universities in America these days. I'm a product of them, and just look at my ellipses and asterisks-to-emphasize rampage. It's like I'm getting paid to do it!