Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, it's my 37th birthday. I was an honor student in high school, went to a top university, accruing a bunch of debt, and got trapped working jobs I hate. All because my teachers told me I was too smart for state school. The drug addicts I went to high school with live a more stable life than I do. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was, "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML
Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML
Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
I am not surprised.
thatnucca 36
At least it's weed and not sweaty man balls...
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Comments (128)
bimmergeek 5
Sounds like her education had more to do with your ego than her education. YDI.
bear815 0
You can figure out what weed smells like at any university,and cocaine at most of the ivy league schools!
bubo_fml 11
she tells U what it smells like, she doesn't tell you what it feels like after she's polished off a few bluntz...
mbrooks5110 0
I'm sure she already knew. school just started give it time.
greenbox 0
It's not that difficult to know what marajuana smells like...it smells like a mother ******
IndigoAcrylic 9
Well..the weed industry is a money maker....;D
Calyx_fml 22
Weed is education.
austin1313 0
At least she's learning, right?
Namenlos_fml 20
I'm sensing a bit of snobbery in this post. Here's a newsflash: Dropping your daughter off at just about any college means she's going to be experimenting with various things, including things you might not approve of. This doesn't mean she's completely throwing her education out the window. Return your nose to it's regular position and let your daughter enjoy the college experience. If, and only if, her first semester doesn't go well gradewise, that's when you have cause to confront her about her lifestyle. Until then, butt out.
dunkaroo 0
It might just be me (I do like to experince new things/realities) but I would much rather my daughter learn what smoke smells like or even be a pothead than let three guys balls deep in her. Which is how most freshman girls spend their first couple nights.