Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
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Top comments
dramaelf 37
Having a telepathic affair are we? You minx.
emmingle 24
If she's walking around assaulting random people, she wasn't much of a catch in the first place...
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Comments (76)
ozpunker 20
I'd go sleep with her man just for revenge.
IliekLoki 7
Looks like you have a Doppelgänger!
falconpoke007 10
Those are always cool. The doppelgängers, not the people who slap other people for no reason. I found mine and it was mind blowing
sugarshane007 20
People are crazy, and no worries, I'm sure you can sell the handprint she left on your face as all the social rage in Scotland.
emeraldisle 30
Slap her back.
xALEXx_fml 15
I was gonna say that hah :)
Pstraka6 20
Who just goes up to someone, slaps them, and accuses them of something?! Go rage at that wedding and forget that loose canon!
mangoboy1 19
Bitches be crazy.
Caitlon 6
Bitches, man
Uhscanherdarklee 10
Take comfort in the fact that you'll go to the wedding with a funny story to tell and have a presumably amazing time and as for that lady...well, she'll probably still be wandering around the streets slapping random strangers with a cheating boyfriend.
SamCat 21
My husband and I walk into a liquor store, the clerk says to me "Hey, you haven't been by for your nightly beer." I had moved to area a week before was sober for months. Op I truly believe there is someone out in the world who looks exactly like us, mine is an alcoholic, yours is a homewrecker lol (;
PiNkMoOn 9
I bet she thinks you're the bride
iKojack 9
You probably know her from when you where a wee lad! And you just don't remember.
Llama_Face89 34
Lass*