Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
summerloolooloo 0
Poke his eyeball with it and tell him you know how to use them just fine.
CallMeHush 1
Can you catch a fly with them?
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Comments (173)
michael32123 0
^^ why do some people insist on posting mile long comments in hope that someone will read it and think they're smarter
black_commet08 0
thank you ppl for ur concern. and if there are any white ppl who would like to tutor me in the art of knives and fork then u r more than welcome to however chopsticks r really my world.
Sekococo 0
#26 are you the person the OP is talking about ? O.o
ilikeyouuu 0
so true.
Woohyuk825 0
why is everyone saying the white guy was an a-hole or what-not, i use chop sticks more properly then my korean fiance, when people ask her to teach them to use chopsticks she tells them to ask me. just because someone has done it all their life doesn't mean their perfect at it, maybe the "white guy" was raised around asians? maybe he was trying to be NICE and just help her, it couldn't have been him trying to help, it had to be racism, because hes white, and shes not. way to be racist against whites? lol
rasta_pasta 4
maybe people don't like being told how things should be done by a white person as it smacks of historical paternalism that has been displayed by your race in the past.
LilaBear 2
Why is this F your life? Wouldn't it be F his? Anyway, I've heard asians say that asians are often pretty lazy with how they use their chopsticks and technically they're not doing it 'right' anyway... so maybe the white guy did know the 'right' way, but who cares, as long as the food gets in your mouth...
RoxyRaccoon 4
Dude, who cares how you use chopsticks. I hold my pencil between my index and middle fingers. Holding it the "right" way is just awkward and painful. :P
Sharpam 0
lol
SpyderMonkee 0
Why is this in the Love category?
koala1324 0
THAT'S SO MEAN >:P does he think Chinese are stupid?!