Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
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Top comments
Ubehage 32
I am trying to imagine how.. FYL
Crowned Sataness 12
I ask for the disposable chopsticks. the rough texture makes it so much easier. I go out for pho a lot and I still can't pick up the noodles with a smooth plastic chopsticks
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Waiter, there's a noodle in my soup! Not so loud, everyone will want one.
Ubehage 32
I am trying to imagine how.. FYL
Crowned Sataness 12
I ask for the disposable chopsticks. the rough texture makes it so much easier. I go out for pho a lot and I still can't pick up the noodles with a smooth plastic chopsticks
metroido 21
rolling a 1 on your dex save
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Noodles are not the best thing to learn to eat with chopsticks on.
Yudith 28
Right. If you want to learn how to use chopsticks, you should go lettuce, then sliced boneless meat, then Asian rice (the kind that sticks together), and at last noodles. Actually, lettuce is easier to eat with chopsticks than with a fork.