Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
summerloolooloo 0
Poke his eyeball with it and tell him you know how to use them just fine.
CallMeHush 1
Can you catch a fly with them?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
dragonstrike94 8
Not true you can get arthritis if your holding something like chopsticks wrong and the constant usage wouldn't help either
randomburger 7
-104 augh your comment just killed a few brain cells!
shinshoku13 19
Haha white ppl...
newburton13 26
Americans tend to think they know everything. Sorry.
iwadasn 33
I wasn't aware that "white" is synonymous with "American" now. Seeing as this is in the French FML category, I'm guessing it was a French white guy who thought he knew everything. But I guess you'd rather make ignorant assumptions about Americans than know what you're talking about, right?
zombieboy78 4
Who gives a shit
kreekkrew 6
Hey, at least he isn't assuming you know how to use chopsticks just because you're Chinese.
sammyjo06 14
People just can't win, can they? You either get called racist for assuming every American-born Chinese can use chopsticks, or you don't assume and they get mad at you because they do know how to use them. YDI for even posting this as an FML. You sound like a dick.
shotgun_girl 17
We do not have the complete story. As he is a native Chinese man they may have been in china which would explain his reaction
sonasonic 34
Show him how you would use chopsticks as a weapon....on him
enzozo101 8
Im pretty sure we need to hear the backstory to this?
Exaspera 55
I hate mansplainers