Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
summerloolooloo 0
Poke his eyeball with it and tell him you know how to use them just fine.
CallMeHush 1
Can you catch a fly with them?
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Comments (173)
ShutYourFace_ 0
haha, thats hilarious.
mtc4ever 0
I hate people like that.
blingblingbling 0
haha niice :"D should of stabbed him in the eye with them
rinzy 3
yeah, I can see how your life is totally ruined after that. you must be devastated
terlolnator 0
he was probably teaching you how to use your "chopsticks" ;D
deutz21 0
that's what ya get for being chinky
quanrujingshen 0
chinky你妹啊chinky... 你跟中国人有仇啊……
adog5 0
you should have cut him with a knife
hedgehogs 0
And you just stood by and let him do this without saying anything? Yeah, he was a patronizing ass, but you just lay down and took it. You wouldn't even have to get angry. All you would have to do is say what you wrote here, something like, "I've been eating with chopsticks since I was old enough to hold them."
marine10_fml 0
ur a moron! he probably didint even know.
selfemployed 0
yea white people do this a lot