Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Kinda funny. What made you think it was for a high five? Have you never been out to eat before?
teentee401 37
Well doesn't the waiter usually pick up the plate, or say something? Instead of just holding their hand out in silence?
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Comments (168)
noshitsherlock 0
This is so stupid. How is this "**** my life"? It's not a big deal... at all.
Seegtease 0
#4, yes, that's exactly what we expect. To rightfully say "**** my life" you expect something pretty terrible to happen, not accidentally giving somebody a high five, that's lame. He even complimented his high five for crying out loud. How much less FML can you get?
Chocolate_Chunk 2
So, in other words, you'd want this site to have only about 2 stories?
Trish01 23
2 very depressing stories
MoonTiger 4
Dumbass.
MR_OHCRAP 0
Yeah, it really isn't an FML. The waiter probably just took it as a joke, you know. And also, (In the most "Borat" accent I can do), "HIGH FIVE!"
fueledbyamy 0
then the site shouldnt be called 'fmylife'. i thought it was pretty funny. really, who cares if its not an 'omg, everyone around me is dying' kinda thing. most people just come on here for a laugh.
RitzyHoke 0
Dude, just laugh at it and act as if you did it on purpose ;O
__thatsjustfunny 0
...and why would you think your waiter randomly came over for a high five?
kitties_fml 12
#7: You can moderate, too. That's why there's a "Moderate the FMLs" button at the top right of the page. idiot...
Gabe411036 0
How is this an fml???Why did this **** up ure life?
Nothingtown 0
Hahaha! Awesome!