Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
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Comments (171)
LOLYLIF 0
Oh wow. Hopefully you didn't hit too hard?
XxTHOMAS6xX 0
you all act so smart oh mcd's is so bad when I bet half of you ate a big mac in the past three days
danyfuckinheatle 0
man bear pig.
SofaKingHappy 0
uh who really cares if a bunch of scene kids and fatasses see you hit your kid? thats basically the mcdonalds population....
Onlynamethatwasn 0
Play the star wars song and do everything in slow-motion
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
ydi_ruuc 0
Show me ya moves!
hypothetically 0
Eh, it happens.
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
lawlcopter 3
rofl poor kid!
shibainu519 0
shouldn't have moved his hand!
Ibberkongen 4
Why the hell would you roll on the floor while laughing from this fml post?! Holy moly.. Think about what you write next time, please..
Rectov 10
I think it's great you chose to be offended about this man laughing
polkm714 0
YDI for eating at McDonalds!
TrickFlowMustang 0
With any luck it'll build some subconcious aversion to McDonalds and he'll refuse to eat there forever. And I'm pretty sure beating kids is a part of going to McD's.
Strawe 0
Agreed with #4 :P
Insert_Wit_Here 0
You deserve it for having such an intense follow-up with a high five. Seriously, what the hell were you trying to do?
my_fml_account 2
Agree with #6. Who would take their kids to mcdonalds for food?? Way to cultivate a bunch of fatasses. YDI
sugar94_fml 17
Way to be an ass #9. Where in this fml does it say that op takes their kids to eat at maccas every day? It doesn't does it. Having a treat every once and a while doesn't do anybody any harm as long as it's not an every day occurrence, and they know that it's only there for a treat. and I'm sure that you can not say that you have never yourself eaten there in your life before either. So don't assume that everybody is all the same.
wtrplochica 0
Hahahahahaha hahahaha