Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML
Today, at my physical, I found out that my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me 4 months ago was not only cheating on me, but had also manage to catch chlamydia and give it to me. I'm now dating someone else, so I had to explain that I've had chlamydia for 4 months without knowing, and he should probably get tested. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my phone rang. We continued to have sex while I took the call. It was my gyno calling to tell me that I tested positive for chlamydia and that I needed to tell my partner. Yeah, sex ended real quick. FML
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
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Top comments
Sparkiee93 3
Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. You won't get sick if you cover your dick. If you think she's spunky cover your monkey. Don't be silly, cover your willy. Before you attack her wrap your whacker. Don't be a loner cover your boner. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRAP IT JUST GO HOME AND WHACK IT
Babushka_Homyak 10
That is ****** up. Get new friends.
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Comments (120)
GailLeeRussell 2
And this is why girls stat away from disgusting little pervs like you .
mendoza2909 1
Really? Sounds like he's a guy who got really drunk and had sex with a woman he didnt know. Happens all the time.
hardcore1414 0
And your a ******* moron....he was close to blacking out so he had no idea wat was going on...read more carefully before commenting
lilhottstuff88 1
dude this sucks...I just found out today i have chlamydia as well and gave it to my partner...FML...
IneffableLullaby 13
You may not remember all the details of your party, but at least you now have a memorable after effect of it. :)
rockarolln89 0
Well, regifting has become more acceptable over the past few years... Now you know what to get for your buddies on their birthdays.
d0gl0ver16 0
If your friend knew then why did she hire her?
chika_yeaah23 0
how would the friends know the stripper had chlamydia? they just hired her.
theslayer77777 0
dude if i was you i would kill my buds that or get me a clean stripper atleast -_-
J_Bizness 0
Dude that really sucks. Get new friends, and NEVER EVER sleep with strippers man. The only positive is that you can recover from this. Dump your friends and by the way...USE A DAMN CONDOM!
Sly_Assassin 11
If he was pretty much blacked out then how the hell would he have known what was happening?
matthewang 0
what's that?
resplendencerino_fml 3
YDI for having douchey friends AND having to pay for it