Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML
Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML
Today, I was wondering if I might be bi, so I hopped on Grindr and met up with a cute guy to experiment with. It ended up being so awful that I decided nope, definitely not bi. Unfortunately now he won't leave me alone, even after I told him that I made a mistake and I'm not interested. FML
Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML
Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML
Today, a woman I work with confessed her love to me, but when I turned her down, she accused me of being a playboy, a manipulator, and a liar who led her on. I'm quite openly gay, so in no way did I ever lead her on, and the only way she could have not known I was gay was if she walked around with her eyes shut. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
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Top comments
Paintonmyarms214 21
Could've been worse; he might have been into that too.
chairmanmeow1 16
Just list a disgusting fetish or two and pray you never see them again
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Comments (129)
luckies_23 8
"If I may ask you kindly, please **** off, I got work to do"
smoothies14 32
Why does it have to go straight from hints to lies? This world needs more blunt people.
ThePandoricaOpen 18
That's the thing, OP straight up told the guy she wasn't interested, but he wouldn't stop.
cosmicdancer84 7
Yeah, I'm a lesbian and declaring that, can make things worst sometimes. Some guys are just jerks, glad you're ok.
amberBueker88 7
Next time don't be kind. just simply tell him to **** off?
Frindaddy 13
Sorry OP!! Some guys just don't know what the word "no" means
butterbunny 15
*Rolls eyes into back of head* Some people...
pickle682 17
You honestly sound like a real bitch
mariksolo 7
Ydi. You should have just threatened to call the cops or something.
VoodooPriestess 16
Lilly Allen's Knock 'Em Out But I had a guy hit on me from his car when I was walking on an empty street. Tried ignoring him, then pretending I couldn't hear him, so he pulled his car ahead of me onto the sidewalk, blocking my path. That was the worst hitting on me tale I have. Guys have no creepiness block in their brain.
Old_Liver 5
Persistent people are never fun...although I know someone into that, so it would only make it worse