Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML
Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML
Today, I was wondering if I might be bi, so I hopped on Grindr and met up with a cute guy to experiment with. It ended up being so awful that I decided nope, definitely not bi. Unfortunately now he won't leave me alone, even after I told him that I made a mistake and I'm not interested. FML
Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML
Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML
Today, a woman I work with confessed her love to me, but when I turned her down, she accused me of being a playboy, a manipulator, and a liar who led her on. I'm quite openly gay, so in no way did I ever lead her on, and the only way she could have not known I was gay was if she walked around with her eyes shut. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Paintonmyarms214 21
Could've been worse; he might have been into that too.
chairmanmeow1 16
Just list a disgusting fetish or two and pray you never see them again
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
blackonblight 33
Both of the "excuses" you used are really horrible things to lie about. This goes along with lying about diseases as well. If it's the truth, it's the truth, but no one is entitled to a reason for a rejection. Giving excuses only makes it seem as if you would like to oblige them if circumstances were different. Don't coddle bratboys. Tell them to stop harassing you. Don't say bother, use terms that imply authorities will be called. And don't hesitate to call for help.
AstraelEventide 10
If someone is hitting that hard, don't give them a "hint". Straight up tell them to go the **** away girl. Not everyone is smart enough to get "hints"
iMuffinKat 16
Well, if it got to that point where you had to say that, don't hint anymore. Just say it directly to him. Some people don't get things unless it's straight to the point and clear.
half_past_hell 4
This kind of pisses me off... Obviously OP didn't deserve it, but I can't exactly sympathize either. Is being trans really the worst thing a person could be? I know she was just trying to get him to leave her alone, but it's still transphobic.
Laexxey 4
why didn't you just tell him directly to **** off?