Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML
Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML
Today, I was wondering if I might be bi, so I hopped on Grindr and met up with a cute guy to experiment with. It ended up being so awful that I decided nope, definitely not bi. Unfortunately now he won't leave me alone, even after I told him that I made a mistake and I'm not interested. FML
Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML
Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML
Today, a woman I work with confessed her love to me, but when I turned her down, she accused me of being a playboy, a manipulator, and a liar who led her on. I'm quite openly gay, so in no way did I ever lead her on, and the only way she could have not known I was gay was if she walked around with her eyes shut. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
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Top comments
Paintonmyarms214 21
Could've been worse; he might have been into that too.
chairmanmeow1 16
Just list a disgusting fetish or two and pray you never see them again
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Comments (129)
mld4657 28
Well, at least he backed off and didn't say he wanted to see or worse I guess...
fmlrulesBolt 14
Maybe that is what is wrong with the girl who rejected me
iiTzNeeNerz 26
You know, assuming there's something wrong with a person for simply rejecting you clearly indicates there's something wrong with you.
interesting33 37
i think they might have been being sarcastic
ChadHelton 8
lose the"kindly" and just go with "**** off" if he doesn't take the hint.
eyepunchlad 11
oooh yeah alright. cool. while it totally sucks that this dude was hassling you, that's pretty much a really shitty thing to say. transphobic, cissexist, heteronormative, pick your buzzword. trans people don't exist for you to use the disgust and hatred people have of us to get creeps off your back. points for not saying "born male" though, i guess
eyepunchlad 11
oh yeah. homophobic too. misread the post. so. *trans women and queer women don't exist for you to use the disgust and hatred people have of us to get creeps off your back.
Shamandalie89 32
Go back to Tumblr and don't come back.
great_just_great 22
Next time just ask him what his star sign is and then claim your signs are incompatible and it would be doomed from the start. Freaks them the **** out every time.
ghetto_child 19
my guess is that he heard the word "lesbian" and instantly thought *threesome!!!!*
enginsteve 17
You got lucky. I had a friend who liked transgendered females. his point of view was that " if she was once a guy, that means she knows what guys like" Whatever
interesting33 37
Nothing wrong with liking transgendered females :)
IronMan_Mk43 20
Tell him that you're a disciple of Satan and that going out with someone warrants 90 lashes for the person you agree to go out with. Works every time.
worldclassrager 41
It worked right? But that's pretty drastic...
ThePandoricaOpen 18
The sad part is, more often than not, it's necessary for a woman to go that far to get them to stop.
Sub_conscious 1
Or, you know, you could just have told him "I am not interested in you, go away" instead of making up stupid stories......
Keiraquarium 12
It's entirely possible that she did. Some people just do not take no for an answer.
coatl45 11
There are some idiots that think that's just the girl playing hard to get. I try not to go to bars and clubs with those type of guys, people tend to think that type of thinking rubs off on the guys that hang around him.