Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML
Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML
Today, I was wondering if I might be bi, so I hopped on Grindr and met up with a cute guy to experiment with. It ended up being so awful that I decided nope, definitely not bi. Unfortunately now he won't leave me alone, even after I told him that I made a mistake and I'm not interested. FML
Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML
Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML
Today, a woman I work with confessed her love to me, but when I turned her down, she accused me of being a playboy, a manipulator, and a liar who led her on. I'm quite openly gay, so in no way did I ever lead her on, and the only way she could have not known I was gay was if she walked around with her eyes shut. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
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Top comments
Paintonmyarms214 21
Could've been worse; he might have been into that too.
chairmanmeow1 16
Just list a disgusting fetish or two and pray you never see them again
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Comments (129)
Etweens96 25
I had a creep hit on me once. Refused to take no for an answer no matter how many times I'd try to change the subject. You dodged a bullet OP
the_real_dvd 21
Just once? Hm.
ThePandoricaOpen 18
To everyone that is telling OP that she should have told him nicely to quit before hinting to **** off and die, let's assume that OP is a perfectly reasonable person, and that she DID. Some guys appear to think that dating women is their God-given right, (and it looks like we have a few here in the comments), and so, won't listen when the woman politely rejects them. It's complete BULLSHIT that we, (as women), HAVE to resort to extreme measures, because a guy thinks he's God's gift to women, and won't stop harassing, (yes, that's exactly what's happening after they ignore the polite rejection), us, because they think they deserve the date they're asking for.
ThatHorse 15
What's worse is the guys who resort to rape to try and force the woman to be with them. That actually happened to a friend of mine too. She was raped because the guy thought he owned her just because he liked her.
vicksblue 17
#68 same way if thinking, different consequences. Men who think women owe them dates tend to think women owe them sex too. A no is a no. Not even that, the absence of a yes is a no. For some reason that is so hard for some (men) to understand.
SpawnofAthena 16
Ahahahaha!!!!!
SauceySarah 30
Oh my god your username, OP.
Futacy 30
"Kindly **** off and die." You seem like an interesting one. FYL though
SPN_lover666 27
It sounds like OP kept telling the guy no and he kept flirting with her any ways. OP doesn't deserve any of the comments that are basically calling her a horrible person for lying to him
SarkasticGenius 7
"All my hints for him to kindly **** off and die" Wtf is this?
SPN_lover666 27
OP was telling him that she wasn't interested and the dumbass kept flirting with her.
hplover32 19
I've been there. except when I told the guy I was a lesbian he said he'd have a sex change operation.
CoupeDeAce 6
Have to admire the dedication. Men don't understand subtle hints or obvious hints. Wtf with hints? Just be absolute and perfectly clear.
ThePandoricaOpen 18
That's just it, that's the first thing OP did. Some guys just don't seem to understand, women are just as human as they are, and NOT objects that exist solely for the purpose of pleasing them.
GamerG0DDESS 29
I really really hoped I was the only one that has ever had this happen to them. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. There are some real creeps out there.