Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
"The power of Christ compels you bitch"
Meowingtons500 18
Look mommy! That man is giving free showers. Oh sweet Jesus! Honey, walk faster.
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Comments (95)
Kibaruto 33
How do they expect to be raptured when they're wearing signs? They should run around with no clothes on, babbling about how they feel the weight decreasing from their body.
MuseFan1991 14
haha good old london! there's a guy who has a hot dog stand in southampton and he blasts his christian music all day, dances around and attempts to heal people with his mind. every town needs one (Y)
MangaManiacNat 13
Yeah I think thats more of a nutcase than a "Street Preacher" which usually means "Street condemner" XD
22cute 17
Why don't we have interesting nutjobs like that in my town? Nothing here but people wanting to guess where you got your shoes.
deathtothepix 26
You must have smelt like sin.
wlddog 14
Maybe you could sneak a sign onto the back side of the sandwich board that says "The End" then have an arrow pointing at his butt.
fuqsam 5
You should have taken off running and screaming "IT BURNS!!!" nothing is more priceless then seeing a bible pusher's jaw drop. Haha
ChickInGreenVans 12
LOL!! Those people really get to me.. No Jokes**
groupleader 7
Who uses the word "nigh" these days....and an e at the end of shit? WTF?
HannahLouise96 13
Us Brits use the word 'shite' pretty often. It's pronounced shy-t. The more you know.
zumiez069 5
Im sorry everyone but im pretty sure this is fake because there was a pic with a homeless guy holding a sign saying the same
HannahLouise96 13
Yes, because 'The end is nigh' is such a unique, original statement to write.