Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML
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Top comments
am1717 22
The things people do for alcohol
corky1992 33
I hope he was escorted out after that.
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Comments (45)
am1717 22
The things people do for alcohol
rjc490 29
Could you imagine what would've happened if he was trying to buy cocaine?
corky1992 33
I hope he was escorted out after that.
SixthSinEnvy 39
More like after he cleaned that shit.
Justy101 23
The worst is when your boss says that you have to clean it up. Had a bad toilet situation similar to this when I worked at Mc Donald's. I think I'd just quit instead.
Danne696 14
Well, to be fair, someone have to clean it up. It's not going to go away just because it wasn't your fault.
Justy101 23
Unless I'm a professional cleaner, I am not paid enough to clean up someone else's bodily fluids.
schreibergx93 19
Not even professional cleaners are paid enough for that either.
okudatwo 11
Wow, such class.
awildwhisper 30
Hugs not drugs, I hope he didn't throw up on the little conveyor belt cuz I'd make him clean that up
jacky051 12
Why are so many FMLs about homeless people?
Kers3054 16
Maybe because they're usually desperate and will do crazy things?
SpyroMello 29
Because a lot of them do shit like this. Not all of them are sane, most are drunkards are on drugs, so when they don't get what they want it's usually weird shit like this that happens. Just imagine what cops must go through!!
Bibliovore 26
Being homeless isn't a state most people would choose. A number of homeless people (though certainly not all) became homeless at least in part because they're mentally ill, and it sounds like the one OP encountered may fit into that category. But being homeless can also _bring_ mental illness, because having nowhere to live and being treated like dirt for that by so many people can be flat-out depressing.
sheilandthegirls 20
Did he end up getting the vodka?
Dilexar 26
I wouldn't give him shit for that kind of childish behavior.
iHopeYoureMad 4
And that is why he is a homeless prick... FYL OP
jacky051 12
Not all homeless people are bad.
Dat_Class_Tho 26
@9: I agree it's scary how easy it is to lose everything to bad circumstance, and being homeless doesn't always mean you deserved your situation. But the drunkard in this story is a prick. And he can't just blame it on the booze. Alcohol doesn't make people do crazy shit, it brings out the REAL YOU that you've been hiding. So yeah, he is homeless for a reason.
SixthSinEnvy 39
He didn't say ALL homeless. Just that prick bastard.
Bibliovore 26
Mental illness can also make people do crazy things. Sounds like this guy needs treatment.
anonymous198913 26
Sounds like he didn't need anymore alcohol...
nickie_94 18
I don't think anyone would object if he got banned from your store