Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
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Top comments
TheLadyOpal 30
You're in Australia, you're excused.
UncleCaitlyn 21
Can never be too safe. At least you didn't skip to burning your house down right away
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Comments (49)
jkp1291 25
The cat definitely did it on purpose.
whysobeachy 37
Agree. Cats are evil.
fezhafeez 12
every villian is lemons. E.V.I.L.!
kittykat1501 31
purrrpose*
may14th 26
I also never deal with spiders on my own.
TheLadyOpal 30
You're in Australia, you're excused.
saifnaqvi11 21
I probably would have had a heart attack, I hate spiders *shudders*
UncleCaitlyn 21
Can never be too safe. At least you didn't skip to burning your house down right away
cacheson 42
And thus the prank war begins!
BamaBorn 10
To get the cat back, OP needs to put Pop Rocks into the litter box!
andrmac 25
Or surprise cucumber!
hipposteve 21
What a mischievous pussycat!!
whysobeachy 37
Are bug sprays effective, though? I sprayed a [small] spider till I was choking on the gas a week back, but it was still alive and kicking. I guess it varies, depending on the spray and probably even the spider, but does it work well in general?
whatsausername7 16
#13 you forgot the part where you spray with hairspray while simultaneously holding a lighter up to it
whysobeachy 37
#13 - I don't normally use hairspray, though, so that isn't an option.
sturschaedel 27
In my experience, the hairspray works better with spiders than regular bug spray. Bug spray poisons their nervous systems, rather slowly. Hairspray suffocates them, which is much faster.
VeganDarkLight 31
How about not killing it and just taking it outside if it bothers you? I'm pretty scared of spiders myself, but that's no reason to be cruel to them. Nobody wants to suffocate, be poisoned or something disgusting like that.
T1A2Z3 35
Someone mentioned the OP was in Australia. If it was a different country sure you wouldn't want to hurt the spider but everything is poisonous there so you wouldn't want to touch a spider.
NYM88 26
Get a stuffed dingo and scare the crap out of your cat!
SexyQueen0905 24
I was gonna comment that you should have noticed the spider was motionless, but I probably would have been freaked out to the point that I would glance over that too. I hate spiders!
corky1992 33
I would have too lol. Those thing look real when caught off guard. I threw my daughter's away because she kept leaving it in random places and I thought it was real every time for a second lol