Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
Lesson #1: dogs have a great sense of smell. If you have it, they will find it. Don't hide it on you.
vikingchick 22
Wow not many positive rated comments here. I'm sorry to hear that a dog ripped through your clothes. I hope you're doing alright. :)
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Comments (79)
vikky538 29
is that your dog.?..next time hide it some where else ... I hope I did not bite your.............
haileyrows 26
Sounds like a certain dog needs obedience training...
MehNameIsJuan 15
Thats not it...
LeavenSilva 27
Was it your dog? If not, I'm curious as to why you walk around town with a dog treat in your pocket
smokecloud_ 37
When my dog was a puppy I always had treats in my pocket for training purposes. It's not uncommon.
dbt88 15
OP just said "a" dog which implies it wasn't theirs... Even if you're training your own dog at home, one would think you'd leave the treats there, too.
smokecloud_ 37
Nope, I always had a supply of treats in my pocket whether I was with my dog or not. It made for some entertaining situations when I pulled them out at work. Hell, I only stopped carrying them after I developed multiple stalkers at the dog park.
aguynamednick 20
why would you just so happen to be carrying a treat in your back pocket
DoomSkuller 28
I doubt it was their dog, guys, considering the wording. Just says "a dog."
Steve95401 49
Doggone it!
hammonds92 21
Atleast we know what's up scooby-doo
friedpwnadge 25
That bites.
NinjaBoyDavido 13
No more years for him!
clairesucks 37
The dog wasn't trying to rip OPs pants, it just wanted the treat. It's stupid to put it down because it's acting like a dog
abNormal62 23
So you are complaint that a bitch approached you without your consent to get a piece of ass ?
Jinxsie 27
You don't give treats to a bitch.