Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
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Top comments
Deemon_Cat 0
You shoulda beat the shit outta her to top it off ._. after all, her bf said some other chick looks better in the same dress and she was drunk, I think this is more of a **** her life.
Samuraixman 3
have sex with her boyfriend
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Comments (147)
Superadie 0
Sell tht bitch ass to the whole bar and get yourself a whole new clothes closet on her!
myfishisBOBA 0
thats disgusting. You should have stomped her lol.
princess__m 0
lmfao only in BC. thats brutal!! what a bitch. wonder where this was in BC? hm.
gurlgurlgurl 0
ah.. those canadians!
ANTONKR 0
yea canadians sometimes make me laugh so hard
_THE_MASTER_ 0
damn man some people just can't hold their shit, eh?
happyvalleygirl 0
I would have dragged the bitch to the bathroom to "help her out," then taken her dress and left her there. Then you have another dress to wear—probably in a bigger size though if she looked bad—and she gets what she deserves. Naked on a nasty bar bathroom floor.
McFly187 0
I would've kicked her as she was passed out. She asked for it.
elchapin562 0
FYL, but haha i think it says OP is anonymous because its a guy that looked better in the drunk girls dress haha
Snowlight_fml 7
Great water supply for getting a drunk bitch sober =D
BennyShawn 0
I'm not laughing at you...Wait yes I am that is funny Stuff.