Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
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Top comments
Deemon_Cat 0
You shoulda beat the shit outta her to top it off ._. after all, her bf said some other chick looks better in the same dress and she was drunk, I think this is more of a **** her life.
Samuraixman 3
have sex with her boyfriend
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Comments (147)
echarperouge 0
I hope you called the police. Facing an assault charge and public intoxication would be rather more unpleasant than a black eye and a ruined dress. :)
arsenic_fml 0
HAHAHAHA i hope this isn't a fake because that is hysterical.
ddrluna 2
I would have taken her into the bathroom to "clean her up" like someone else said, then put her head in a toilet and pissed on it.
ilg4evr 0
does anyone think she deserved getting puked on because she was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch? don't stupid bitches scream at other stupid bitches? lol
slearnaro92 0
WHAT A STUPID FUGIN SMUT!!!! if i were you i would of punched her back and walked away b4 being puked on b.c then she won and your icky so that sux.
PimpinPenguin 0
Thats odd
kellster 2
YDI for expecting better from bar people!
mileycyruslvrrrr 0
ydi for being hot.
emba_fml 13
who said she's hot? maybe the other chick is just gross as ****
flinkpamingo 0
Way to go! Life is just tough at the top.
wwwwwyl 0
come on~it's just like the movie'my wild girlfriend'~~~have you watched it ?