Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
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Top comments
Deemon_Cat 0
You shoulda beat the shit outta her to top it off ._. after all, her bf said some other chick looks better in the same dress and she was drunk, I think this is more of a **** her life.
Samuraixman 3
have sex with her boyfriend
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Comments (147)
triplethreat13 0
minus the vomit covering you, i still think you win. her boyfriend says you look better than her. one point for you. you got to make a scene embarrassing a drunk chick calling her a stupid bitch. another point for you. she passed out. another point for you.
JukeboxBunny 0
Wow you should've socked her back. What was the point of punching you? Would you suddenly be less sexy in the dress because your nose was bloody? What the ****?
diemileyjk 0
lol i agree
whiskeyloverrrr 0
at least her boyfriend thought the dress looked better on you?
ladiidaa 0
YDI for failing to properly retaliate. At least someone thought you were pretty though.
russianspy1234 11
See, thats the difference between guys and girls. If guys show up somewhere wearing the same outfit, they might just end up becoming lifelong friends. But seriously, you should have just filed assault charges, people like her should not be out in public.
wbrycem 0
That's because bitches care way too much.
nanoflacka 0
You should have t-bagged het while she was unconcious!
Imawhalerider 0
take it off and bang her boyfriend. then lay the pictures right next to her to wake up with.
CFR 0
Wha--? Her boyfriend is a douche for even saying something like that to his girlfriend in the first place. The girl is the pure definition of "Psycho". Charge that bitch for assault. You totally didn't deserve that. (Unless you were flirting with her boyfriend, but even then...) My sister and a couple of her friends are planning to take me clubbing for my 18th birthday next month. Now I'm thinking I might just stay in...
BikerMike 0
you should have shit and pissed on the passed out **** then wiped yourself with her hair.