Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Deemon_Cat 0
You shoulda beat the shit outta her to top it off ._. after all, her bf said some other chick looks better in the same dress and she was drunk, I think this is more of a **** her life.
Samuraixman 3
have sex with her boyfriend
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
Sleepwalker418 0
Well, if you didn't punch her face in, you let a really great anger management opportunity pass.
kingston52 0
YDI for wearing the same dress also for being an asshole and screaming at a drunk girl
MsSoulReaper 27
Are you special?
Joe2794 0
******* kill that bitch.
Samuraixman 3
have sex with her boyfriend
awoodenhouse 0
i second this suggestion
pinksprankles 2
xD The perfect revenge
weinerdog 2
then leave your discarded underwear on her face so she wakes up to your smell
aback 5
Nah--you "help" her into the restroom to "clean her up", then beat the shit out of her.
kaelendra 0
File charges... for the hit anyhow.
lindseyxox 0
why wouldn't you just leave with her boyfriendd thats what i would do lol :)
blahdsflksfd 0
This is why you shouldnt ever go to a bar
AnimeAddict 0
"Help" her into the bathroom and switch dresses with her
TKDWill 13
Yea forget nonviolence. You should picked up the bar stool and cracked some ribs with it...well maybe too much but she definitely deserved a punch in the face in return.