Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML
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Top comments
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
A real friend would have offered to clean it up before you even asked.
amberstar87 13
I don't think I would invite her to my house again if that is how she is going to act.
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Comments (101)
moodyreallyrocks 27
I think you need new friends buddy..
OrganicSistah 17
You shouldn't have had to ask her in the first place.
iwadasn 33
I'm guessing she's one of those parents who thinks her precious angel can do no wrong and never needs to be disciplined for anything, ever.
YFOS_fml 17
I wouldn't be inviting that friend over again! maybe go to a Cafe or something
leogachi 15
@59 And when she starts to wonder why you never invite her to your house anymore, kindly remind her that her kid trashed your house and she didn't care.
theRonin 18
Wow, sorry to say but your friend sounds like a fat, lazy piece of shit and a terrible parent if she acts like that and allows her child to do that.
local_idiot 6
shoot them both
laden_swallow09 35
Reason to Not Have Children #1,332
GrumpyGrinch 23
Actually thats a reason not to have shitty friends. The same person with a dog as a weapon would have caused about the same amount of damage.
jtea 10
Think your "friend" isn't really a friend. You should reconsider your friendship.
worldclassrager 41
I am curious about the money aspect... She was probably thinking of a form of disciple after finding out what happened but I doubt it
GrumpyGrinch 23
At 3 children are perfectly capable to know what behavior is ok. If the child did it, means the parents don't mind.