Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML
Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML
Today, while my man raves about that one time he went hiking with his brother, without even a sleeping bag, spending the night under piles of dry leaves, now that we are looking for a small camper van, he insists it must have a toilet, kitchen, and indoor shower. FML
Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML
Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML
Today, I wanted my boyfriend to come over for a backyard wiener roast. Because it was so hot outside, he told me he didn't want to. Eventually, I talked him into it telling him it would be fine. He's now still asleep on the couch with heat stroke. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML
Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML
Today, it became apparent that my new boyfriend has the mental process where unless you give him specific instructions, he can’t do anything right. Such as when asking him to let the dog out, it won’t occur to him to let the dog back in until I get home. By then the dog had destroyed the garden out of boredom. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
I used to camp from time to time but I never did a “practice” camping in the backyard other than to just run through how to put a new tent together. The reason people go camping is to see new places in a different way. Camping in the backyard is for little kids - It would be boring and pointless for an adult or older youth. Don’t judge your boyfriend on his not being a backyard camper. Anybody can learn to camp - From the city or the country. But be aware that a larger point of the camping is where you are camping and not just to spend the night in the backyard. I am also sure you are aware that men and women, boys and girls may exaggerate or lie about their interest in something just to try to impress the object of their affection or intention. Some degree of that is just human nature. I understand this, but unless you are kids don’t do the backyard camping test again. It misses the point entirely.
RichardPencil 32
He's right. Camping is bullshit. The great triumph of human intelligence is civilization. Living like an animal spits in the face of all humanity. Foregoing a comfortable bed when one is available is the peak of idiocy and disrespect.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
He's right. Camping is bullshit. The great triumph of human intelligence is civilization. Living like an animal spits in the face of all humanity. Foregoing a comfortable bed when one is available is the peak of idiocy and disrespect.
Chazzster 32
I used to camp from time to time but I never did a “practice” camping in the backyard other than to just run through how to put a new tent together. The reason people go camping is to see new places in a different way. Camping in the backyard is for little kids - It would be boring and pointless for an adult or older youth. Don’t judge your boyfriend on his not being a backyard camper. Anybody can learn to camp - From the city or the country. But be aware that a larger point of the camping is where you are camping and not just to spend the night in the backyard. I am also sure you are aware that men and women, boys and girls may exaggerate or lie about their interest in something just to try to impress the object of their affection or intention. Some degree of that is just human nature. I understand this, but unless you are kids don’t do the backyard camping test again. It misses the point entirely.
Starkiller2011 10
If he can’t even handle practice camping how will he ever handle mountain hiking?
Justkidding100 41
mountain hiking is A. relatively pretty easy for an adult and B. not boring like sleeping on dirt 5 feet away from your TV is. The issue wasn't one of survival