Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML
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Top comments
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
A real friend would have offered to clean it up before you even asked.
amberstar87 13
I don't think I would invite her to my house again if that is how she is going to act.
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Comments (101)
smallandroid 26
It honestly seems really nice of you to only ask her to help you clean it up. I feel like I would have gotten pretty upset or made her clean it up herself. You're too good of a friend for someone like her, OP.
Lalala579121 28
I'd have at least asked her to replace the money that got flushed.
MonstreBelle 29
She definitely doesn't deserve OP's kindness. If I were treated like that after trying to be nice about it, I would be asking her to reimburse me for the cost painting over the crayon in addition the flushed money.
PhoenixChick 26
Why wasn't she watching her kid in the first place? I'm also curious how the kid got your money. I get that 3 year old's are evil, but dayum.
Brandi_Faith 34
I'm in no way blaming the op, but did you see any of this happening? If you did you should've stepped in and tried to stop him if the mom wasn't. Or have made her stop him. And where was she? Did she just walks into a different room and leave him to do whatever? Horrible parenting and stupid friend!
countryb_cth 38
They were probably talking and got deep into the conversation so OP didn't notice what was going on until after. That being said no matter how deep into the conversation they were the mom should have been making sure her kid didn't get into trouble. Like what kind of mom doesn't watch their kid while in someone else's house and then has the nerve to get pissy when asked to help clean up after their kid. Honestly if that were to happen to me after politely asking to help I would have flipped shit and made her clean up and reimburse my money. Some people really should not have kids.
militarybrat 21
If op doesnt have kids she MAY not know how quickly kids can get into things. Or know how high the kid can reach.
Tripartita 45
You should apologize with a gift. If you need any help getting something, the OP from a couple FMLs down has a Furbie that I think would make an appropriate gift.
itsme82 18
Da ****? I hope you're kidding
CaraMaria 6
That could be arranged. With pleasure too, that woman is a grade A ****
Trapgirl747 11
Omg this is literally the best thing I've read ever
HollyQuinn 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is why I hate kids.
MariaGiovanni 25
Rarely can you blame the kids. Usually it's neglectful parenting. Common sense tells you not to let your kid run wild and act up in someone's house.
MariaGiovanni 25
Don't blame the kids. It's the parenting. Common sense tells you not to let your kid run wild and act up in someone's house. Even if you are the best parent and you kid is just an evil seed wouldn't you know not to let them run amuck ?
MariaGiovanni 25
Tried to post got an error message then the app shut down. Went back to post and ended up posting twice. My bad.
iwadasn 33
At three years old, how is he supposed to know what behavior is inappropriate if his mother lets him do whatever he wants?
militarybrat 21
No you hate the parents that dont parent their kids. Children are innocent at that age.
Denizod 9
As if you weren't a child once.
Leanne798 25
Close friend or not, any decent person should feel embarrassed and take responsibility if their child makes a mess like that in someone else's home...
Kingbenford 12
I put that I agree that your life sucks, but you shouldn't have let him have crayons, and you shouldn't have left money in a nonsecure spot
MariaGiovanni 25
She should leave whatever she wants to wherever she wants to in her own damn house! I think we found OP'S "friend"
MonstreBelle 29
No, that vile woman should take responsibility for her daughter like any real mother would
TAntobella 14
Most parents don't take any responsibility nor admit their children misbehaved, they constantly justify their miniature dicktators saying "they are just children".
ChopSuey444 20
If you don't have kids, there's no reason to child proof your home. The mother should have supervised her child, end of story.
mds9986 24
Some mothers just have a "my child would never do anything wrong" attitude. Nothing you can do.
Trapgirl747 11
The truth. Like literally sometimes my little brother can be just like a little devil child and then my sister and I get blamed for his acting up or she doesn't care. Like ugh the other day he wrecked some of my stuff when I wasn't home and it was in my room downstairs and she didn't even care she just ignored me and went outside for a smoke, uuuggggghhh.
countryb_cth 38
I really hope you're a lot older than your brother and able to move out soon because without punishment he is going to get soo much worse and probably turn into a very bratty entitled kid.
kharwood1208 14
Sounds like you are using the term "friend", rather loosly, they don't sound like a friend
D_as_h 19
I hate parents like that, my best friend's mom is the same. Her little brother broke my mom's sunglasses and he didn't even get punished and her parents didn't even apologize or even make him apologize.
acmariner99 25
Well that's awfully childish