Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
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Top comments
hazz_fml 0
The elderly these days ¬_¬
ubbernoob 0
Whatever, you know you liked it.
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Comments (64)
greenman_fml 0
GOD DAMN ELDERLY
KiSsKiZzy 0
Wait wait wait!!! Did u enjoy it???
skullbashd 3
GILF!
Randen_fml 0
she was trying atleast. I bet she bought her house for 50 cents back then!
hazz_fml 0
The elderly these days ¬_¬
Amkii 0
LOL! A quarter... big spender! I love answers 1 and 2. I literally lol'd at #1.
rebboy_2008 0
Wow... a whole quarter? She's really spending big time. I guess that early bird special down at Denny's will just have to wait another day.
ubbernoob 0
Whatever, you know you liked it.
zap_fml 0
Whey! You pulled ;)
silverling 0
Grandma hands are the softest, and they can take their teeth out. ;)
thequeenofscots 0
At... least she was experienced?
jesusjr 0
On the bright side, you got a quater!
amelinat 0
Maybe you should invest in a tip jar or cup, to prevent further unwelcome hands in pockets. Or keep a spider or a cockroach in your pocket, to teach people not to put their hands in there.