Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes helping an elderly man figure out how to use the self-checkout. When we'd finished, he smiled, thanked me, then walked away… without paying for any of his groceries. The cashier assumed I was with him. FML
Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML
Today, in a market, an old lady stood beside me for a few moments, not saying a word, before turning to me and screaming that I'd taken the money out of her purse. Security was called and I was given the ultimatum to either go to jail or give her the money back. Now I have no food for next week. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
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Top comments
thatonegirlnic 10
I can't wait to be old. They get away with everything
massinator5 4
People like that need to realize that people work hard for those tips
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Comments (84)
dontkilljay 14
Looks like you were coin-founded...
LanceGoodthrust 19
Your reply doesn't make any cents...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Why did you allow him to nick-el all your tip money?!
funzoneplanet 7
Really you didn't get it? It was kind of dumb but I got it!
kinky44 28
@25 Coin-founded = confounded
LanceGoodthrust 19
And cents=sense. I got it... Did YOU get it?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
To be Franc, Euro real patient guy, Lance, to explain your pun so calmly.
swaggalikethat 22
That old mans a thug
dontkilljay 14
@31 and 37, thank you. I honestly regret nothing.
massinator5 4
People like that need to realize that people work hard for those tips
cryssycakesx3 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
some places around here you get fired for taking tips. I'm a hairstylist so I know about tips and I hate when people whine about it.
license2chill 5
people need to step up and start protecting their hard work as well
thatonegirlnic 10
I can't wait to be old. They get away with everything
Cwizer 17
Heck yeah, being old is going to be awsome. Pulling pranks on young whipper snappers.
XBurytheCastleX 25
And then you just randomly die.
raphanne_fml 33
#21 Ouuuuuh I always put this type of people back in their places, regardless of age! No disrespect to your grandma though. It's just that I don't have a lot of time to go shopping, and there are a lot of old people who always try to pull this off when they have the whole day to do their errands. It rubs me the wrong way when people just try to pass in front of me in a line/queue. If they ask nicely to go before me, I might let them go though.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I'm with you, 40. I'll bitch them out about jumping in line no matter their age. Old people just love to pull that shit too, haha. If they would ask politely, then I'd let em in front of me, but if they just think their old age gives them some sort of entitlement, I say hell no to that!
repKyle95 24
Personally, I just trip them very covertly so that it looks like they just fell, and hold up the line JUST enough for everyone else to be giving them dirty looks. It works well AND you don't draw attention to yourself (if you do it properly).
StompinOnCrayons 15
Does anyone remember only fools and horses. when uncle albert fell on purpose, and then sued ? Old people could get away with anything as they are usually kind-natured (some cenile)
ottokat 15
senile
FailBear920 19
@61 Try that to me douche bag.
Steve95401 49
The guy has one huge set of balls to do something like that.
Rainhawk94 27
Pretty sure his balls are all the way to his knees because of age
TheCaramelKing 11
Or a death wish...
cakeandfilm 13
Or testicular cancer
HilarityOfLife 8
Well, on the bright side, it was only 6am so there couldn't have been much in there yet. But next time, dig up the courage and stop that man OP!
Welshite 40
Where does it say that it was 6am? Also, you can't make assumptions on the amount of money that was in the jar. It rightfully belonged to the OP, regardless of how much there was.
golden_warrior 23
Some places are open 24hrs. So, OP could have had a cup full of tips from working the night shift
domolovesyoshi 33
she could work in a 24 hour cafe or bar and worked really hard and all night for those tips
rosenkrieger223 24
Also, just because an FML was posted at a specific time doesn't mean that's when the incident actually happened. I seriously doubt that OP immediately went on a break thinking "Oh man, I gotta post this on FML right this ******* second!!!"
golden_warrior 23
grandpa's gone wild, coming to a store need you!
golden_warrior 23
near**
bjdog98 9
That must have been his plan ;)
Rainhawk94 27
Whatever you say Sarah Jessica Parker
ninjuh_wingman 29
The elderly strike again.
Cazz91 21
What a ballsy thing to do to someone. Not a single care was given. I'm sorry you had to deal with a jerk OP.
MisterEx 28
But she didn't :(
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Why didn't you go after him? I'm guessing his get away speed was on the slow side.
rosenkrieger223 24
There was also probably a counter between them that wasn't exactly easy to get through quickly.