Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, I finally got tired of my neighbors constantly blaring their obnoxious rap music all hours of the day and night. Trying to be funny, I put Baby Shark on a loop and turned my speakers all the way up. They called the cops on me. FML
Today, we have an asshole neighbor who owns a loud muscle car. Another neighbor called the cops on him for constantly revving the engine and breaking the noise ordinance. He now purposefully drives by their house at odd hours of the night to blare his horn and wake everybody up. I live across the road from them. FML
Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML
Today, I mistook my neighbor’s karaoke party for a heated argument and called the cops. When they arrived, everyone was in the middle of a dramatic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
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Top comments
dontmindme7 9
Try being more like him
dno79 19
old dude sounds like he still got game! sorry you have to deal with him
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Comments (91)
dontmindme7 9
Try being more like him
itchmcrotch 13
So annoy other people by playing music so loud you can hear it in another house/apartment?
KhaleesiDannie 26
nah by having some game #30
JustinJK 21
I would blare like rap music or something old people dislike
anna31899 16
I agree
EatZombies 10
People just have to learn to enjoy life as it is. Make some fun memories to look back to out of it!
RickySleeves 20
What's war music?
Jonclee 8
I'm guessing either American patriotic songs or, more likely, daring battle music you'd play in documentaries (since OP lives in California, USA)
Elban 20
Fortunate Son by CCR, Paint It Black by the stones are a couple of good examples
StarkWolf_fml 23
What is he good for? Absolutely nothing! WAR!
Adeptus_Astartes 22
@32 I don't think that's how the song goes.
shadow1248 23
Isn't Fortunate Son anti-war music?
derpyshy 16
I was gonna ask the same thing. I can't think of a song that would classify.
BoxFullOfLazy 25
War music these days is heavy metal. Metallica, Black Sabbath, Slipknot, etc. Who knows what the old man thinks is war music.
EatZombies 10
Fallout 4 radio stations have your answer
CasiusCorvus 10
actually if he's a war vet then there's a good chance its actual music they played during the war. In Vietnam, Americans often blasted music at night to keep the enemy from getting sleep. That's what I've heard anyway, my dad was in the Navy and he confirms they did it to each other sometimes just cause they could. Lol.
ned diggers 14
Slipknot lol. That's the most pathetic example of "war music" I've ever heard, let alone "heavy metal".
Rosebudx 32
Record audio or video evidence. Doesn't have to be of their house, but record something that catches how loud the music is. Call the police, keep recording as the sound pauses and then restarts. Then take that down to the station.
sanchogrim 18
Don't be that neighbor. For the love of God, not even the cops like y'all.
laden_swallow09 35
No, 62. YOU don't be that neighbor, blaring whatever the hell you want at all hours of the morning, keeping everyone awake when we have to go to work in the morning.
Scotth901 22
Aging with style..
FSGInsainity 15
Tax money at work
hekinokuroihi 20
Ask for the Staff Sergeant and tell that person that their police officers aren't doing their jobs. Don't go to through the grunts when you can talk to the higher ups.
dno79 19
old dude sounds like he still got game! sorry you have to deal with him
GuyOnBridge 14
who the hell let's a wrinkly old man slap their ass? Does that police officer have a fetish?
interesting33 37
Could be she felt awkward and didn't know how to respond
gracehi 33
I'm guessing she was already his girlfriend or something.
tygerarmy 35
Could be the old guy has a lot of charisma and charm, and she just didn't care. He's probably a former Police Officer and/or Military.
corporatescoundr 25
I agree with 52. Some women look at stuff like that as charming. "Oh he's just old. That's how they did stuff back then. He doesn't mean anything by it. I take it as a compliment." Etc.
Colon_Man 17
#52. I was thinking a former judge, myself.
LyricaSilvan 30
I gotta give the old badger points for being kind of a badass. But you should definitely do something about that, especially if the police won't. Try talking to a higher-ranking officer, and make sure you have physical evidence of what's going on.
Kielnmsoftly 26
What exactly is war music? And honestly most of the Internet says "**** the police" but then says to ask them for help?