EatZombies

Miss New Cumberland, United States 27 years-old Single

Jif_Creamy 28 February 2016, 05:00 Washington, United States

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML

62 comments

kittywings 29 April 2016, 01:14 Bridgewater, United States

Today, as I was taking a shower, I felt something run down my back. Assuming it was water, I lathered up my loofah and scrubbed my back with it, only to hear a gross crunching sound. I pulled back my loofah to see a smushed, twitching cockroach that I had smeared on my back. FML

47 comments