Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, my parents said that we're never going to see our grandparents again because my grandpa hit my asshole little brother with a belt for calling him a boomer. I love my grandparents so much but my parents won't listen. FML
Today, I finally got tired of my neighbors constantly blaring their obnoxious rap music all hours of the day and night. Trying to be funny, I put Baby Shark on a loop and turned my speakers all the way up. They called the cops on me. FML
Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML
Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML
Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML
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Top comments
elephantsarecute 16
In my personal experience grandfathers tend to be rather intimidating so I'm not surprised. Be glad you're grandfather stood up for you.
alwayscheesin 2
Atleast they know how to respect elders. Plus in my opinion older people are always more intimadating. They got that look
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Comments (146)
TheTwistedOtaku 16
I don't know man, old people can be scary sometimes.
Airman1988 9
The grandpa could have seen some crazy shit in some past wars to make him someone not to **** with, or he could just be a bad ass in general, either way he gets the job done
Krajjan 9
My grandpa was like that. The man spent three years of his life as a Marine in the Korean War. He always said, 'The day I find something more intimidating that the entire Chinese army is the day I back down'. I'm pretty sure his stare alone killed more people than smallpox.
srgsk9 9
When a 68 year old man walks over to a group of people with a giant hunting knife and tells them he is going to "gut them like fish," you'd better damn well listen, or you're getting gut like a fish!
wallandpiece 16
I wonder if OP's grandad is Joe Pesci..
deBlobX 12
That's because they're unpredictable because of the amount of diseases they could have an because they are from the 'good ol' days'
klx125cross 9
Walks into the house "pip down you basterds!"
SamanthaCassieL 10
Hmm and grandfather like Clint Eastwood? Man, I wish!
Link5794 18
You just don't mess with old people unless they're creepy.
SamanthaCassieL 10
No dude, especially if they are creepy. Its a really horrifying and traumatizing experience when a creepy old dude hits on you. Just sayin lol
laden_swallow09 35
If it really is that traumatizing for you, try laughing him away. Point at him for good measure.
Sandman366 6
32: Elderly retired marines - scarier than when they were still in the military. (Give them a cane and me a gun, I'm still running the hell away. Wimp? Yes. I kinda like living though.)
amandajlucas2015 2
Old men tend to generate respect because u can usually be sure they have been thru some shit and will tell u how it is
amandajlucas2015 2
Old men tend to generate respect because u can usually be sure they have been thru some shit and will tell u how it is
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
That is ******* bad ass.
CaptainDoorknob 7
If there's one thing we can learn from YouTube, it's old men can kick some ass.
Neorecon19 18
My foster father is 76 and he still looks like he could take someone almost 50 years younger than him. He could probably run you through with his golf clubs if he tried.
elephantsarecute 16
In my personal experience grandfathers tend to be rather intimidating so I'm not surprised. Be glad you're grandfather stood up for you.
chunkalicious 7
Haven't you seen the movie Gran Torino? That taught me not to **** with old men.
DarkHelmet 10
RIGHT!!!! Grandpa's a straight OG
TourettesGuyFTW 26
OG - Original Grandpa!!!
bigtaytay 13
I'd say they're intimidating because back in their day you could get away with more than you could today, like they could beat their kids and stuff. So the threats they give are dead serious
alwayscheesin 2
Atleast they know how to respect elders. Plus in my opinion older people are always more intimadating. They got that look
outoftown 27
Nope. Young Clint learned the look from the awesome old guys.
LaughinStock 16
"Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have ****** with? *Spits* That's me." Op's grandpa said that at the end.
Bright_Lights 14
Why should we respect elders?
imavelociraptor 6
My grandpa's just confused....
ConBroChilll 9
95 - because your a toolbag who has a ******* terrible haircut and wear hollister. plus their intelligence and experience with the world is far more superior to yours and your "swag". Personally i respect them because of what my elders have done. My grandfather is one of the last mathmations(i dont know haow to spell it correctly) alive who have worked on the manhattan project. He worked hand on hand with Oppenheimer and Einstein. Allan Vorwald. look him up. 93 years old and still remembers in details what the first conputer looked like. and that is why i respect them.
Bright_Lights 14
I was simply asking a question, so why you feel the need to personally insult me I don't understand. Your grandfather sounds like a brilliant man, who achieved a great amount for both himself and humanity, therefore I respect him. What I don't respect is people who say we should respect our elders simply because they're older than us - respect is earned through experience, not granted with age.
Bright_Lights 14
By the people who spout 'respect your elders; they're older/wiser/more experienced etc' logic, I should respect a 70 year old man, even though his house is paid for by the government, he's never had a job and lives off the government, alcohol and drug addicted, beats his wife and children and occasionally rapes his teenage daughter, simply because he's older than me? Do you see my point?
Cleo88 6
Hey at least they will keep it down hopefully :) maybe you should get him to give you some pointers
gc327072 31
Watch out guys, we got a grandpa over here!
Mioko_fml 6
Some people tend to respect elderly more. But yeah at least they quiet down, who cares whether you did the job or your grandpa did. --- edit Oops 3 already said what I wanted to say, kinda
jem970 19
Gut you like a fish... Hehe. I haven't heard that saying in awhile but it still makes me laugh.
junkman6 22
If u can laugh at an old ass marine holding a kabar saying it.... I wish u luck in the next life cuz to ass is dead
DeadxManxWalking 27
I guess they're more respectful of elders? Or just the fact that old people don't have much to lose and are scary as hell sometimes. Especially with guns
SenselessPattern 12
#16 The first two comments didn't give it away, but it finally broke through to me on this one! You like the movie Gran Torino? Oh man, I hope I guessed right! :P
ohSNAPyall 27
Clint Eastwood is Keastwood's grandpa!
xlord 27
Unlike you your grandfather is an auhoritative figure. They probably have father issues and crave attention from adults
Forlorn420 9
Or the idea of being gutted like a fish shut them up.. I'm gonna go with this
andiewithlove 21
9 - No no! That's only for the single women at the bar! Has Barney taught you nothing!?
emilyjgraham 34
bit deep don't you think?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^that's what she said...
disengaged 6
The best bit is you're commenter #69
greenie213 23
Get a scar on your face. That'll make you scary.
sens3sfailing 25
Not much is scarier than a guy who looks like he has seen some ****** up shit and threatens to do ****** up shit if you don't do what they say. I would have turned my music off too! But I probably would have listened even when OP asked.