Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML
Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
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Top comments
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Once I put something in the sink, I don't re-use it without first washing it. Kitchen sinks are one of the dirtiest places in the home. And I don't think dogs should be licking plates clean or given people food because it instills bad habits, like begging. YDI.
DestinyNiya 33
Even if your dog hadn't licked it, you should've at least rinsed it! You absolutely deserve it!
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Comments (38)
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Once I put something in the sink, I don't re-use it without first washing it. Kitchen sinks are one of the dirtiest places in the home. And I don't think dogs should be licking plates clean or given people food because it instills bad habits, like begging. YDI.
Ramb0 20
They can plates clean and eat my food...if they start to beg then stop them, no need to separate them
littlesward 8
Actually, if a dog learns that they'll get table food, they'll start begging for it. You can't separate the two because they beg for table food.
bloodtalon 6
not to mention that many things that are perfectly healthy for a person to digest can cause mild to severe health problems for dogs.
IorvethTheXolo 8
"People food". That cracks me up a little. Dogs are not designed to eat little brown pellets. No creature is. They are designed to eat many of the things we eat and eggs are one of them, although they are better for them before being cooked. Just like there are things that are toxic to people, there are things that are toxic to dogs, but as long as you keep that in mind, many things we make for ourselves are perfectly safe for dogs to eat. As far as the begging goes, it's a matter of training. My dogs get some of my food every time I eat something unless it has onions or something in it that they cannot have. My dogs don't sit right in front of me and beg for food because they know that bad behavior like that means they won't get any. They ONLY get some when they are a respectful distance away. They can watch, but they cannot crowd people who are eating. They have their spots they like to sleep and they are typically found there while we eat and oftentimes don't even sit there with focused attention on us. They even nap while we eat. We let them lick plates clean but, because of the training we have put into them, we can even leave a plate full of food within easy reach and walk away and it will be untouched when we come back. If we drop food in the kitchen, we don't have dogs desperately diving for it. You can share safe food with your dog and still have a respectful animal. You just have to be willing to put the effort in. I'm totally with you on the "once something goes into the sink, I don't use it again until it's washed" part though. Kitchen sinks really are nasty and gross me out. I clean mine on a regular basis, but even if it's just been cleaned, I can't bring myself to use something that's been set in the sink until it's been thoroughly washed.
Zlunder 19
Guess who's going to eat the snack.
loserman67 36
It is said that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's mouth, but I just pray your dog did not just finish licking his/her butt before licking that plate...
DestinyNiya 33
Even if your dog hadn't licked it, you should've at least rinsed it! You absolutely deserve it!
AmericanBadAss 21
Let the dog always lick your plates clean and you'll never be upset about it again.
Tripartita 45
This is why I prefer cats—it's not that their mouths are cleaner or anything, but if you try to "let" them lick your plate clean, they glare at you like you're scum for thinking they'd want your disgusting leftovers until you withdraw the plate or start crying.
sparkledoge 29
I have one cat that does this, he even sits next to me while i eat and stares at the other cat trying to steal from my plate while the dog cries in jealousy as i keep pushing the cats away. Every time i eat something. The joys of having pets !
Rabite 28
One of my cats always licks dishes with breadcrumbs on it and if I eat some sort of bread he always bites into it and drools it soft.
DanielleinDC 34
I used to have a cat who liked licking my plate, although she didn't lick it clean. She once went crazy when I made a tempeh and mushroom dish. And she really loved it when I ate soy ice cream and let her lick the bowl. She just wanted a taste of what mom was having. I guess it didn't hurt her; she lived to 18.
jcash52426 5
Your a grown man/women why didn't you do the normal thing and just wash the plate with soap and hot water. And it's not a good idea to feed the dog table scraps, the dog will just begs
cmdd 5
Why would you use a plate from the sink instead of just grabbing a clean one?
Colon_Man 17
I'm imagining two scenarios; OP is a slob and every dish they own is rotting in the sink, or OP is a single kid and only has one plate. Either way, OP should learn the luxury of paper plates.
TearfulTurtles 6
Giving dogs any kind of human food, over long periods of time, can lead to diabetes and pancreatitis. If you love your pets, let them eat their own food.
kaymo2 21
In my lifetime I've had 5 dogs, 3 of which are still alive, and they've all had 'human food' for long periods of time. Not a single one has developed any condition or disease from this and the 2 dogs who passed even lived a few years after their expected life span.
sparkledoge 29
I let my dog licks some of my plates clean but i wash them afterwards. Who the **** just takes a dirty plate from the sink without rinsing it to eat ??