Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I'd help clean out his ex-girlfriend's closet. I found their wedding photos. FML
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
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Top comments
debo123 0
Sorry to hear that but atleast you found out BEFORE u married him
onigiriqueen 0
You could also buy a strap-on fireman.
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Comments (159)
Penguinophile 0
Awww. I hope all goes well.
FlaminYawn 0
Did he always want anal? Could've been a clue...
xHaniffax 0
there's no such thing as bisexual IT'S JUST GREEDINESS and people who say they're "bi" are just lame posers but OP: FYL
badr_fml 0
and did you confronted him? what happened?
FurrTrap 0
Huh? Room content aside... Why are you cleaning his room? Why can't he clean up his own mess? So you're going to marry him and be his cleaner? If I marry someone I want an equal not a skivvy.
Vitamin_C 0
#36 EPIC WIN!!!
rhazz 0
ugh that really sucks :( but lol @ the delivery. Awesomely written!
um_duh 0
#36 - you rock my world! Everyone saying he's just bi - he's probably not. Men who are too afraid to come out (for whatever reason) often find a girl that they trust & have a good time with then marry them just to try & make them feel like they are not gay... but the truth is they will always be gay & many years down the track it will surface. Its time to break it off & move on.
doloreshaze_fml 0
Never clean a man's room while he's away. You don't know what you'll find.
jannas 0
HAHAHA! I like this one. "Like grow a penis" LMAO! Sorry, though.