Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
TripleATeam 13
The best part of this was OP's name.
Stephanoze 23
At least he has a great sense of humour! :)
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Comments (118)
Stephanoze 23
At least he has a great sense of humour! :)
cameron6731 13
It would have been better if he asked her to be the headmaster of the pen15 club.
Merylwen 24
I don't know about his sense of humour, but he sure has poor spelling. For me that's almost worse than the whole situation.
MegaExplosives 17
#41 the joke went right over your head...
Merylwen 24
I get the "bone", thanks. If "appetite" is a joke then please explain, captain obvious.
AirBusDriver 23
Bon Appétit
NicH1799 20
#53 Ohhhh nooooo someone doesn't have an understanding of French. Gosh, how did they miss that vital part of their U.S. education.
RedPillSucks 33
that is a common expression that's used in English even though it's French. just like everyone knows what Merci means. English is based on French and German.
tantanpanda 26
^English is based off Latin, friend.
cornyrob 33
Yes, Latin, too
duckie227 22
Since when is French required education? No language is 'required' by the board of education except English.
CaitiieBuggs 23
In my school district two years of a foreign language is required in high school to graduate. The only exceptions are if you have a modified diploma (which would generally still require one year), or if you can take a test to prove competency in a foreign language not offered by your school.
Merylwen 24
I'm actually fluent in French. My point is that everyone knows the phrase and that's obviously not how you spell "appétit". Apparently that needed to be explained to you, so there you go.
Slasher2977 19
The US education system allows us to learn many languages, usually we only choose one or two and in some states the only choice is spanish or french and spanish is more usable here, this may not be the same for where OP is but it may
DoomedGemini 38
Bone appetite= appetite for a boner/dick. There.
BananaN0se 13
At least his Puns are great and his sense of humor is nice, I'd say that's a hard situation to be in though, I make puns too.
KingLewisII 34
I guess he wasn't offering a foot long
BlameTheOwls 14
I think it was more ignorance of the French language than a successful pun. The proper spelling is Bon Appetit.
JMichael 26
24, a dick is also called a boner. hence the bone appetite. there the joke has been explained.
TripleATeam 13
The best part of this was OP's name.
JesusFreak227 15
Chow time
Skinyrd 17
That one must've been "hard" to swallow.
Vegetarian27 24
I feel like you didn't really need the quotation marks as this was already a double pun (a good one too).
hoosiergirl94 31
Lol I would be excited about that
tormcn 26
He's trying to be sexy.. of course it's exciting. Girls are not appreciative enough.
RedPillSucks 33
how is he being sexy begging for a ********
mattrd_fml 31
a naked guy is sexy.
tormcn 26
#86 He's not begging for a ********. I bet if a woman did that the tables would be turned.
timelord5248 5
I know I would be scared if a woman asked for a *******.
AndrewMoreira14 19
Lol that's love. He has a great sense of humor so he definitely sounds like a keeper ;)
leogachi 15
That's not what love is.
cameron6731 13
Better than him asking you to join the pen15 club, when he is the head of the club.
MomentoMori 23
Tried a little too hard there, buddy.
xluciferx666 21
Gotta give him points for creativity
alexanderavatar 24
so thoughtful