Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I'd help clean out his ex-girlfriend's closet. I found their wedding photos. FML
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
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Top comments
debo123 0
Sorry to hear that but atleast you found out BEFORE u married him
onigiriqueen 0
You could also buy a strap-on fireman.
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Comments (159)
Debj23 0
Consider yourself lucky, you could've found out years later after 2 kids. Gay people get married to the opposite sex b/c its the norm for society. Our society really isn't that accepting of the LGBT community, some people find it easier to hide it and try to do 'normal' things like getting married.
craphappens92 0
Strap on makes a world of difference :) or maybe he cud jus b bi or maybe it was jus a fling
lithiumflower 0
Because obviously bisexuality doesn't exist? And the letters could be old, kept around for sentimental reasons. Haven't you ever kept something from an ex? Might want to have a little talk with him, still...
Peroxide 3
He was probably away seeing Pablo. You've got to admit though, you must have suspected something after he cried out "oh Pablo!" during sex.
airplanefood 0
Yeah, I hope the letters were just from an ex or something. If not, at least you found out before the marriage and you have time to talk about it!
HeyitsPheddy 0
@ 34, it would probably be "¡Aye Pablo, pollo frito!"
brasileirinha 0
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #36 YES! Oh and I'm sorry to hear that. At least you found out before you got married.
brigger 0
FYL sorry
RoguePenguin 0
Lol nicely written. sorry about your bad luck but you'll probably be happier with a guy who's not gay
shakenbake93 0
Probaby the best delivery of an FML I have ever seen.