Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
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Top comments
orebes 3
Getting laid shouldn't be how you define seeing other people. Relationships aren't all about sex.
ters19 10
Looks like you deserved that one
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Comments (111)
Enslaved 38
I'm sure the OP also broke up with his girlfriend because he felt she wasn't the one for him. It's better than him settling and wasting anymore of her time just to get laid.
yoursucklives 36
but the fml says he broke up with her to see other people
Enslaved 38
Better than him cheating, right? If he was happy being with his girlfriend, he wouldn't have wanted to see other people.
Dilwann 27
There are plenty of guys who want to see other people, even though they like their current gf. They just think they can get better, or a better match, at least. But no match is ever perfect, and maybe that's why they broke up.
doctorhook86 25
13: The point if breaking up is always to see other people (because you think anybody could be better than the one you're with).
Nighthunter 11
Seems you will still have sex with just the same people: right hand and left hand!
SApprentice 34
It says a lot about you that sex is what you miss the most, OP. Not the emotional bonding that comes with a loving relationship, the conversation, mutual affection, having someone to curl up with, oh no, just the sex. I'm assuming what you mean when you say that you 'broke up with my girlfriend to see other people' you actually mean 'broke up with my girlfriend so I can sleep with someone new and exciting,' and now you're disappointed because you can't find someone who wants to have intercourse with you. It's been five years since you broke up with that girl, and in five years you have not been able to mature past your penis? YDI.
blankjack 6
WORDS SCARE ME OH NO I R STOOPED
crimsonlover4 31
15- Great point! I do think OP deserved it as well because even though we don't have many details, I too gathered sex being the main thing on OP's mind.
annalily5 28
Maybe the reason sex is all he misses about his old relationship is because that's all there was too it?
TheLittlePug 3
Move on!
HandsomeRatch 20
I always thought it was weird to break up with someone so you can go have sex with other people. Who says those other people want to have sex with you? Besides, sex isn't everything in a relationship.
Aregonde 15
Why all the YDIs? The OP ended a relationship that clearly wasn't working for him. If that's not the mature, sensible way to handle a situation like this, what is? Would you prefer he'd spent the past five years faking it to avoid hurting the girl's feelings? Would that be fair to her? As for the lack of sex, well, that's just unfortunate.
Dilwann 27
He broke up with her to 'see other people'. In my eyes, that means dating other people because he might find someone better, or to not be tied down to one person. And since he's never had anyone else since, I voted YDI. If he liked the previous gf, he should've sticked to her, instead of thinking he could raise the bar.
Callyn 47
If he broke up with her to see other people than he wasn't in love with her. If he wasn't in love with her, staying in the relationship would have been a bad plan. You don't know if he liked the previous girlfriend, so don't assume you know the situation.
R4inb0wBrit3 13
He doesn't like her so he's still thinking about her after five years? And the tone of the whole FML is regret. He obviously liked her.
Chazyj 4
It's ok dude I'm coming up to 3 years myself
sofiq 3
Why are there so many negative votes here?
procktodd 0
Who the hell keeps track when you break up? Who cares.
dangousity 21
Only girls do lol
1BDWYFE 3
Don't feel bad. It's been about that long for me too...
goodgood_fml 5
That's what prostitutes are for. Seems like the perfect life for you.