Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
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Top comments
orebes 3
Getting laid shouldn't be how you define seeing other people. Relationships aren't all about sex.
ters19 10
Looks like you deserved that one
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Comments (111)
limitedition 25
I'll give you credit for breaking up with her before having sex with someone else.
Twisted_Angel 17
on the plus side, you didn't stay in a relationship you weren't happy in, and you didn't cheat. the downside is you're alone, and while you were typing this FML, she was probably riding someone else. I don't wanna say YDI, because people end relationships like that every day. FYL, because you're horny, and probably wishing you'd tried a little harder to make it work with her. Lesson learned today? What you think you don't want today, you may want tomorrow. Looks like your life is full of lotion and tissue.
perdix 31
She's probably had sex with dozens of guys and every one of them has satisfied her far more than you ever did. Happy anniversary! Cheers!
CuriousAlien 7
Well whose fault is that?
LordRenkse 0
Was he supposed to stick with someone because breaking up is mean? WTF people.
verkaderk 9
In five years you couldn't find one female to sleep with you? YDI and I feel sorry for you for either being butt ugly or having a terrible personality
Chel2010 10
My boyfriends best friend hasn't had sex in two years, almost three. But he misses the relationship, and that's the difference between him and you. Glad you're better than a cheater, but you must not be a very good player--which means you should probably stick to dating and getting to know people. Sex will come when earned.
gxkon 5
Go to your local hood and buy a good lay
greekgal44 14
dude... you deserved it
CaysonJon 11
I find it weird that you still remember the exact day you guys broke up.