Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML
Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Throw some holy water on her little demonic ass.
Rommel1942 9
Find the holy water!... I don't even know how holy water is made holy but sure
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Comments (124)
t765234 10
Trade your soul for unchecked and indomitable power! Quick, while you still have the chance!
ohmandapants 17
This really has nothing to do with "Paranormal Activity" you guys. Little girl thinks she's possessed by the devil? Come on people. The Exorcist.
mandadarling 10
NyQuil anyone?
ushwia 4
We've all gone through that I-being-controled-by-satan-and-thats-why-I'm-eating-live-animals-while-stabbing-my-teddy-bears-in-the-night phase. just let her scream herself to sleep, she'll be fine.
garrr 0
Tell her how tormented you would be if she just sat down quietly in the corner or went to bed early.
SleepySloth 4
Bullet point 2: her brother hears voices in his head but don't worry about it just leave him to talk to his finger alone
perdix 31
Just play a game of "Satan Sez" with the kid, and order her to listen to Justin Bieber CDs for your whole visit. Tell her that Beelzebub owns the Beeb's soul for making such a mediocre talent into a big star, and he's *wink* "one of us."
linkinpark98 24
Sprinkle some holy water over her and see if she starts to sizzle.
jaredofmo 22
"Name yourself, hell spirit!" "FISHER-PRICE!!!"
TwiztedYuri 9
3hrs of hell is nothing... wait till you get to inferno. thats where shit gets real.