Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML
Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ICastillo 25
Throw some holy water on her little demonic ass.
Rommel1942 9
Find the holy water!... I don't even know how holy water is made holy but sure
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
mazio09210517 5
uhh. have fun. (:
Every1luvsfmls 6
I hope she doesn't spider walk down the stairs and projectile vomit.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"BRING ME YOUR CHICOLATES OR FACE THE HOUNDS OF HELL! Oh wait, forgot my manners. Please?"
gingeryginger 1
ummm no
coldashell 23
Holy salt works just as well. Put some in my brothers possessed girlfriends food and waited for her to burst into flames.
YoTengoTomatoes 7
When I was reading this I confused 'bullet point' with 'gun point' in my head and thought the girl had a gun which convinced op that she was possessed by the devil.......
Rommel1942 9
Find the holy water!... I don't even know how holy water is made holy but sure
iliketurdles 7
I think a priest blesses the water by saying a prayer over it or something. I'm not sure, I haven't watched Supernatural for a while.
nightfire2258 24
You have to get the water blessed by a priest.
SecretMe00 5
Ya I would just leave. People that think they're connected with demonic entities should not be messed with. If you ended up staying there OP, I hope things went smoothly. I wouldn't babysit for them ever again though.
CaptNomNom 17
Nice tiger2 wallpaper!!
Riley97 0
They boil the hell out of it. ;)
allard 14
According to supernatural lore, you also need prayer beads, although, you do not need a priest, just the Latin Translation.
nofearjenshere 12
So you're telling me it doesn't come from the Holy River?
p_syko 5
I think holy water comes from the toilet because honestly its a bunch of crap!
syley 5
Well 68 calling another religion, or a symbol of it, crap is a good move to be buried. Try to be a little more tolerant of others' beliefs.
baddawg365 0
You place rosary beads in water say a Latin blessing over it and then throw on the demon. Be sure to have a Devils Trap on the floor or ceiling, then use the Exorcism on it. If all fails... Well unless you have an Angel, Sam or Dean and their knife.... You're probably dead.
mannykatany 9
That little cross necklace grandmal gave you when you were 10 you should have worn it!
glorialaura21 8
Since when is it intolerant to have an opinion on religion? Hell, I think religion is crap too, that's my own opinion. I tolerate religious people and I respect their right to their own beliefs and opinions.
OuchAndGoodfight 5
Holy water is a sulfuric acid solution... gee.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Openly stating "religion is crap" where people can see is being intolerant and disrespectful.
apparentloner 6
My grandma threw holy water at me once and its like a weird cool sensation sort of feeling :|
glorialaura21 8
So let me get this straight, you think its okay for me to have my opinion of religion as long as I don't express it in public? And why? Because it offends you that i strongly disagree with something you strongly agree with? I still respect you as a human being and your right to express your beliefs and opinions even when some of yours offend me.
StrangeDuckling 9
*Shakes Head and Slaps Forehead* It's blessed... You know-- By a Priest??? *Once again shakes head and walks away*
Barr3lR0ll 9
just don't let her near you with any sharp objects & you might be ok.
ICastillo 25
Throw some holy water on her little demonic ass.
wenwenno 4
Just pretend that you are the Devil's leader, they'll have to obey your every whim then!
ghostlilac 25
Last I checked, Satan doesn't have a leader. The devil is nobody's bitch!
MrBrightside21 20
He's OP's bitch, now.
yesibby760 0
toby? -____-
yahoowizard 16
Flenderson?
SomeAnonymousBro 4
Alexander?
kaila332 0
Bob
LookAtMyGoat 8
Is her name Emily Rose?
sissors1234 4
LI know a girl named Emily Roes who says she is possessed by the devil.
CaptNomNom 17
3 more hours of hell to go :D but you can ignore it. See what I did there?? XD
ladyLALAA 29
You should change your user name to captobvious!
alshygirl 14
No, I actually don't
robincakes94 8
Maybe you should "pretend" to do an exorcist on her... I'm still confused as to if you should exorcize her evil spirits, or stupidity.
shannonreneee 11
9, makes things kind of awkward when you call a child stupid and you can't spell exorcise.
ohmandapants 17
^ and they said "pretend to do an exorcist on her".
ohmandapants 17
Also 9, that is incredibly stupid. Obviously this girl has mental issues, she is not "stupid" and "pretending" to perform an exorcism is incredibly dangerous and stupid. She's mentally unstable, she could just snap.
robincakes94 8
Thanks 32 for calling me stupid at something you were ignorant to :)... Also, I didn't mean that the child was stupid, just her actions. My first initial thought was that she wanted attention, but you all are right, it could have been a mental issue... I forgot that those still exist apparently.
Brenda37 13
Possessed by the devil?! Well, that's a new one.
Keevarou 17
No, not really, my ex is stalked or possessed by memnoch or something after she met Lestat he said. Best course of action would be to make her go to a psychologist to get help..
Brenda37 13
Oh, that's scary. Well I haven't had an encounter or heard a real-life story of the sort, so I guess I wouldn't know. But I agree; the child should see someone who could possibly help them.
thiscrazything 1
How about a priest?