Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML
Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Throw some holy water on her little demonic ass.
Rommel1942 9
Find the holy water!... I don't even know how holy water is made holy but sure
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Comments (124)
unknown_user5566 27
Yikes. Looks like it's time to dial 1-800-555-HOLY and hire an exorcist.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Screw that. Dial 1-800-FUCKTHIS and get your ass outta there.
DespairFaction 11
Yeah this is just a weird one. I would just buy a gun with silver bullets and wear garlic....oh wait.
unknown_user5566 27
37- But, if you leave, you can't film the exorcism and try to pass it off as a half-decent horror film. :(
SqueakyChipmunk 22
99- I dont want green vomit all over my camera. Plus, I'd be compelled to play "I whip my hair" during Emily's spazz attack.
KM96 24
No wonder they ran out so fast ! Sorry for you OP
Riley97 0
Bullet 2: if she tries to stab you, she always swings right to left, so just grab her arm and you should be fine.
Shadow_Phantom 26
*sigh* Delusional people these days and them claiming to be possessed... FYL, OP.
vicky_reoow 1
Paranormal Activity 4
rattusrattus 19
This is why you don't let kids read/watch The Exorcist. Lil' Regan here started getting ideas...
DespairFaction 11
Lock her ass in a room and try to find Anthony Hopkins phone number for advice.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Good thing you're not staying over night.... I'd be freaked the **** out. That paranormal activity shit is scary as shit
t765234 10
I laughed my ass of through both paranormal activity 1 and 2, it's definitely not a scary movie.
tony1891 22
jobs these days are getting harder and harder and with less pay. use too all you needed was a pair of work gloves. now you need a Catholic priest it seems. lol.
HyperBowser1 3
Harray for you, you get to watch a devil! ^_^