Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML
Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I got fired from a great babysitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
602offroad 12
Hey Brain what are we doing tonight? The same thing we do every night Pinky, trying to take over the world!
RichardPencil 32
Plans for her death or yours? Dunh-dunh-dunh!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
ad1836 19
Stewie Griffin ?
pinkuser626 17
After many years as a preschool teacher I learned to take everything u hear about children with a grain of salt. Most of it is not true at all but it generally will still give u an idea of the difficulties u may encounter.
RichardPencil 32
How many u's can you use instead of you's? No wonder you got no further than preschool.
almost_there44 26
Is it so hard to type out you* instead of u?! Please don't teach this to your students.
evilplatypus 39
Guys, stop being insensitive. Just think of how much free time they must have not typing Y and O!
Thor1012 28
what?
RichardPencil 32
Plans for her death or yours? Dunh-dunh-dunh!
Winchesterbride 9
that sounds like my kind of child
loser_mgee 2
Same tho kid
Isa_fml 20
Necromancer-in-training.
602offroad 12
Hey Brain what are we doing tonight? The same thing we do every night Pinky, trying to take over the world!
jcash52426 5
Sound like you were babysitting the baby boss
ralphnader 13
This is the rare time you get to explain about all of the children you have dismembered over the years and no one will believe the scared an suddenly obedient child.