Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I dumped my boyfriend. He responded with kidnapping my dog while I was at work. He texted me a picture of him holding a piece of chocolate to his mouth, threatening to feed it to him if I didn’t get back with him. I took him back because I can’t bear my life without my dog. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, my fiancé broke up with me, because he was mad I was worried about him due to him not answering me for ten hours. FML
Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'd trusted that he and his ex were “co-parenting” a dog that he and his ex adopted while they were together and nothing more was happening. His ex is pregnant and he’s the father. He insists that he doesn’t love her anymore and it was a “mistake.” He wants me to take him back. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Today, my partner of 5 years broke up with me via text. We were talking about starting a family just last week. We have a foster puppy together and moved into a new house a month ago. FML
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Top comments
AaronGuy 12
You need to call the police.
Briscuit 24
I'd be breaking some doors down if my dog was stolen. I don't see it as an overreaction either, to some people they're like children. I hope you get your dog back, OP. Good luck.
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Comments (99)
AaronGuy 12
You need to call the police.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Exactly. If he wants to play those childish games, he deserves to have the police at his doorstep.
iGrassYourSister 6
only from him to claim it's his dog and bitches be crazy
ManInTheMachine 20
iGrassYourSister: I don't usually do this but... What in God's name is your picture of? If it's what I think it is, then I'm most definitely scarred for life.
JurassicHole 5
41 - It's a piglet pushing past two other pigs. Crisis averted.
TwiztedYuri 9
first make sure the shot records and other paperwork is under your name not his.
littlesister67 0
I saw that too. Kinda nasty looking.
blondebrunette11 4
Legally Blonde Fml Story.
Lizzy500 16
What Twizted said. If the vet records are in your name, that proves ownership and you can call the cops to get your dog back. If you never took the dog to the vet, or records are in his or both names, you may be farked.
NailQueen2 7
#41- I wonder the same thing
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I've seen it before. It's two big pigs with a little piglet in the middle.
claysgurl09 5
Actually the cops won't get involved over that. It's a civil issue. Sorry, now If you take him to court with papers you can get your dog back. You can call the cops but in the state of Texas, any type of property that is left with the other person is called civil property and they won't touch,
dylanmurre 4
You aren't by any chance the bitchy gf that just got engaged to the ball less guy, are you?? If you are, it sounds like that guy grew a pair!!!
PawsUp_fml 2
Call Elle Woods! She could get your dog back! :)
TBelle4Ever 15
And wear a fashionable outfit at the same time
briienna14 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Awh get ur dog back he sucks
therealslim 15
If it were as simple as just 'getting the dog back' I doubt this would be an FML
Briscuit 24
I'd be breaking some doors down if my dog was stolen. I don't see it as an overreaction either, to some people they're like children. I hope you get your dog back, OP. Good luck.
ant1ion 12
Thats a dick move, stealing your dog
Ambreanna 0
you mean a " bitch" move?! okay that wasn't that funny..
Mnemosyne_Love 2
Go to his house and get your dog back. If he doesnt give him back tell the police. Thats bullshit OP and I hope he gets whats coming to him.
ohmandapants 17
Do you know where he's living now? Go get your damn dog back OP you don't need his permission to show up an collect your dog. Just show up. Edit: whoops, 5 beat me to it.
ohmandapants 17
And*
whippymcdumb4zs 0
I kind of like your comment better with the ghetto-esque "an" as opposed to the "and" you corrected yourself with. :p
Inheritance 10
As Billy Madison would say, "Go out there and get your ******* dog!"
JoeRogansBEARD 15
TTTT-TODAY JUNIOR!!!!
CaptNomNom 17
Man's best friend! Hope you get yer pup back! I don't know what I would do without mine...
klovemachine 24
Hopefully the dog will bite him :)
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Right in his tic-tac sized dick!
False_Stupidity 42
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Aww, he just wanted a new bitch.
Cappiej 18
You know, that pun is slightly overused.
nofearjenshere 12
Go confront him! That's not right.
mmike13 2
Your hot