Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
I hope the safe word was "loveyoutoo"
bromeister 6
You simply made her think of what she loves most..
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Comments (153)
blondie107 20
Ohhhh.... I think you mean ex? Or maybe you caught her off guard.
WeskersSexslave 15
Pickles?
harrison99 4
I love the family guy reference :)
mkcherry 14
trust and love are not synonymous, neither are sex and love. Im sure if you give her time she will grow to love you OP since she apparently trust you enough to be involved in S&M with you. Try not to take it too seriously, shes just being honest with her feelings but it doesn't mean they wont change.
TheDrifter 24
Am I the only one bothered by the misuse of S&M to mean sadomasochism in the comments? There is no "and" in sadomasochism. Sadomasochism is the SM in the well known BDSM acronym, but S&M is an entirely different type of relationship. /kinkyoldbastardrantover
Zebediabolical 45
I personally am not bothered by muggles misusing the terminology. It's not like they're doing it deliberately or to be offensive in any way. It's just the way it's commonly seen in the media, such as the Rihanna song S&M. If nothing else, it opens up the conversation.
middlenamefrank 8
As a complete outsider with no interest in that world, that doesn't sound right to my ear. Generally, one person is masochistic while the other is sadistic, true? As I understand it, there really aren't too many "sadomasochists" around. Then again, this is a world where you often see someone looking for a "dominate", but almost never see someone looking for a "dominant", so I'm guessing it's not a community that's big on the niceties of the English language.
TheDrifter 24
95 I guess I need more vanilla friends. You're absolutely right, no harm no foul on the common usage. And for 107, looking for a dominate is an activity not a person ;). Slang of sorts for a kinky one night stand. I can see how that would look like a typo.
caity_pie 12
From Wikipedia: Distinction among the subdivisions of BDSM - The term "Sadomasochism" has been loosely used to refer to the entire umbrella of BDSM. However, this is not accurate as BDSM is a shorthand for the three main subdivisions of the culture: B&D (bondage and discipline), D/S (dominance and submission) and S&M (sadism and masochism).
bazookajoey 27
What's the safe word?
filthyPierre 4
Banana!
nitrog100 21
Flugelhorn!
StillUsesMyspace 22
I like to use pineapples as paddles, so this safe word would never work!
EternalRest 5
#87 that's pretty weird dude