Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML
Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead." FML
Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML
Today, I was at a house party and a guy needed a ride somewhere. Our designated driver, being the nice person she is, offered. I was in the back seat with him. His first words were, "Hey guys! I want to clear this awkwardness so… I once saw a 6-year-old girl die during a drive by I was on." FML
Today, I was singing and drumming on the steering wheel in my car while stuck in traffic, only to realize the car next to me was full of my carpooling coworkers, all staring at me in disbelief. They spent the day at the office requesting songs. FML
Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire was flat. Two hours later, some of my friends came in and said something along the lines that, "We should do brunch every Saturday, (like this morning) it was awesome!" in front of my manager. FML
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Top comments
olivejuice 0
I would hit "you deserved it" ten times if I could. You're sitting in a 5x5 box, and you're driving ie the one responsible, not that hard to figure out who is in the car with you!
Jimboom 12
Open mouth Insert foot With the other foot kick your own ass
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Comments (86)
olivejuice 0
I would hit "you deserved it" ten times if I could. You're sitting in a 5x5 box, and you're driving ie the one responsible, not that hard to figure out who is in the car with you!
Liamj774 36
YDI man. F Lisa's life
Adeptus_Astartes 22
#84 You're six years late.
LeChuck 0
more like F Lisa's Life
deliciouskaek 1
That wasn't very bright. So, the lesson here is, if you're going to trash talk someone behind their back, be sure they're sitting/standing behind yours.
b1p1 0
if you're goin to talk trash behind someone's back, make sure that they are not behind your back
Cyrus00 41
Your comment wasn't very bright either.
Blanche_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I have one friend who does this every single time we're any wheres, she'll pick one person and rip them apart. but then.. we all talk about her behind her back.. watch out.
Jimboom 12
Open mouth Insert foot With the other foot kick your own ass
youdidwhatnow 0
Win.
rikard_fml 0
indeed
Rick_S 3
Today, driving some friends back from a party someone said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". I'm Lisa. FML
quelbaby 0
lol awesome!
sweettpie129 11
Noo your Ricks hahah
acraiggg 0
hahaha this is great. hey friends it happens. dont even trip bout it. everyone will get over it and be on there way. and honestly its not thattt bad, could have been worse. haha.
ohhboyy 0
da da da dumbass
maddog_fml 0
#5 Wow! and you call each other "friends"? Why you don't tell that friend to shut the fuckup about it and act normal. To OP: You are a douchbag and deserved that one!
davidtheday 0
Driver awareness fail.