Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
I hope the safe word was "loveyoutoo"
bromeister 6
You simply made her think of what she loves most..
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Comments (153)
middlenamefrank 8
Whips and stones can break my bones, but words will never.....wait.............
lalaney 14
Ooooohhhh that show with the Kratt brothers and a ring tailed lemur!! Loved that one.
95DeVille 13
Mine is antidisestablishmentarianism
conaidws 7
Alright,. alright, alriiiggghhht... YOU GONNA LEARN TODAY!!
Khali_May 10
noooooooo lol
squarecircles 13
'Cause love hurts ;)
jojimugo 20
What the **** #56
RockNRollAndrew 18
What's an s & m sadeword
TheyCallMeDamien 18
An S&M safeword is a word used during S&M play aka pain play to let your partner know the pain has become too intense for the recipient. It's used instead of no or stop because tend to say that during S&M even though they don't want their partner to actually stop. They are simply playing into the fantasy. The most common safewords are RED to stop or YELLOW to slow down or scale back the activity.
shakile78 7
Anyone wanna tell my what S&M is?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
I DO I DO! Sadomasochism. People who like to give and receive pain during sex.
TheDrifter 24
Telling people to Google it is more fun all around.
bzakly 3
Cacao? LMAO