Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
I hope the safe word was "loveyoutoo"
bromeister 6
You simply made her think of what she loves most..
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Comments (153)
absynthe76 10
Mine is Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen. (From Euro Trip)
kwilson3103 11
Sorry man
Nickb55 16
Sorry, but what is S&M?
gracehi 33
It's like an M&M crossed with a Skittle.
RedPillSucks 33
I'ma by a whole bag of those S&Ms
lilsubbrat1213 22
it is short for bdsm, which stands for any and/or Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadomasochism, and may in fact represent even more than just those facets.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Well...better to use it and not need it then to need it and not remember what it was.
joshea123 10
Mine is "gosh that Italian family next door sure is quiet
worldclassrager 41
Uh oh...better change that quick
hemonnne 8
rule #1: dont do any S&M shit with someone who doesnt love you
drshn 22
why is that? I don't see any problem is is consensual.
rachangie 19
I disagree. Sometimes it is easier to get involved with S&M with someone that you don't have an emotional connection too. I find that sometimes it's easier to be completely honest with people that I have no connection to, which in turn makes it easier for me to express my deepest fantasies. Love is most definitely not a requirement for good S&M.
Wakachulak 22
rachangie, you know when I said I'm not hitting on you? That might change soon.
drshn 22
#76. exactly my point.
katieemerr 15
Am I the only one eager to find out what the safe word was? BANANABERRY
iNoob10 6
Cinnamon!!
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Moms spaghatti?
trucker2 33
Uncle
Cynical_1 26
Now that's the most hilarious FML I've read in a long time! Oh...and...sorry OP. FYL!