Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
Good idea, flee and leave them for the next poor sucker to deal with.
Miss_Attitude96 24
I don't understand how hard it is for people to flush the toilet. Seriously, I am a junior in high school and there are disgusting girls that leave their used pads and tampons in the toilets. It's gross.
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Comments (135)
TheDrifter 24
Good idea, flee and leave them for the next poor sucker to deal with.
BlueFlatts 20
If she freaked out that badly I doubt getting close again would have been an option. The shit has eyes and was watching her, wouldn't you be afraid?
PenguinBitch 44
^ It was Mr. Hankey!
oj101 33
I just don't understand why people don't flush toilets in the first place? Plus, you should always have a pee before you leave the house, and drink minimally- if desperate, then find a cafe or restaurant, do your thing, and spend $2 on a cake or something.
mysterion115 14
yeah i heard that girls bathrooms are way grosser than guys bathrooms
WaywardDaughter 26
I used to clean a restaurant when I was in college and I can tell you that on average the men's room is worse but women can be just as disgusting too!
TheDrifter 24
The men's room also sees a lot more traffic. Men are rarely shy about bodily functions that a lot of women do their best to avoid in public places.
jarrettd 27
I wish. In my school a couple guys make it their mission to pee ANYWHERE other then the urinal/toilet. I'm talking the hallway and the floors of the bathroom. Immature
Catkam623 27
Guys don't have that problem, we use bottles:)
igive 29
Wow! Guys can shit in bottles?!
jayleensmama 14
OP had to pee...
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol #13
buckdharma 38
#13- I once saw a ship in a bottle.
CharresBarkrey 16
40 - I feel sorry for the guy who shat that out.
MyNameIsViet 15
Yea well 40, I once saw a dolphin in the toilet...
Catkam623 27
I like the thread I started.
JiggyBoo123 11
8D IT'S A POO GENIE!
Shrouds 14
^^ aaaaand killed it
a1f0sff 25
Next time try to find a shop or a restaurant with a toilet? If you have to buy something to use the restroom, just buy a bottle of water.
BaconDave 12
Cracker Barrel has an exceptional bathroom.
thatonename 7
You realize you just suggested multiple public restrooms, none of which will help. Is this just sarcasm that I'm not seeing?
buckdharma 38
BaconDave manages the KFC, but recommends the Cracker Barrel restrooms. Well, ok then.
a1f0sff 25
33, when she mention public toilets, I automatically thought of those port-a-loo's (if that's the correct spelling). The restaurant is definitely cleaner that those.
RuthlessTruth 9
I'm not afraid of public restrooms, but I'm absolutely terrified of Taco Bell's restrooms..
wagne057 6
Nothing like a good turd to turn your night to shit.
evan_7899 28
Sucks, i hate it when people dont flush
igive 29
Yeah, and it takes less than 10 seconds.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Takes less than one second... The worst is when there's not even toilet paper to cover it up; why the **** would you drop that, not wipe, not flush, and presumably not wash your hands? Gross on so many levels.
AnyaS 19
My own sister often doesn't flush. This has been going on for over 10 years and she's an adult.
MWidderAUDI 14
the worst bathrooms are the ones at summerfest here in milwaukee
JanisEvans 10
If they were genuine floaters the person dropping them might have wiped and flushed. Sometimes these things return to the surface. I used to work in a cafe and obviously had to clean the bathroom as well. Those things can be persistent.
perdix 31
They had EYES!?!? I'm so happy we have urinals. Men just leave toilets in the most disgusting states. Luckily, they rarely shit in the urinals (yeah, you heard right, I said "rarely!"), so we usually have a decent place to urinate. Score one for the male gender! Droppin' a deuce could be much dicier.
S182 15
Once upon a time, we had someone who kept ******** in random places... Sinks, showers, in the corner... We just dubbed him the mad shitter, and never found out who it was...
dmoran20 27
Same here, when I was I. The Navy, every ship had 1 or 2 Mad Shitters. You would be amazed at the places these guys would find to leave a shit.....
feefifofumxx 13
Do men find it very amusing? ...to shit in random places, that is
RadeonDerp 24
I know I find it INCREDIBLY amusing. There's someone who does that at our school, and once someone went in to the bathroom, and there was one GLUED to the outside of a cubicle door, right at the top.
Miss_Attitude96 24
I don't understand how hard it is for people to flush the toilet. Seriously, I am a junior in high school and there are disgusting girls that leave their used pads and tampons in the toilets. It's gross.
ICastillo 25
I don't understand how people get shit on the ******* toilet seat!! How the hell does that even happen?!?Some nasty individuals out there.
Pyapi 20
Used pads and tampons... In the TOILET? You don't throw those in there! They go in the trash... You're totally right, people can be disgusting sometimes
thatpeachyperson 12
I remember not long ago, going into a toilet cubicle in school and finding blood on the wall. Some people have no sense of hygiene.
TheDrifter 24
A lot of the blood splatter on walls isn't some freak spinning a used tampon around for artistic effect, it's usually mainline spray, from junkies taping a vein. I used to deliver to an AIDS clinic, and their bathroom walls were always covered in it.
yelz 16
Some chick graffitied her name on the toilet walls using her shit, literally shit.
DrCheese 16
And people say men are more gross than women...
CaptTeemo 10
You poor thing. I would say plug your nose, close your eyes, and then flush... But it seems you have already pissed your self
chuckcloninger 12
I'm sorry that you have such severe anxiety about such a common body function. My first instinct was to laugh but I thought for a moment and, if true, realized how limited your life must be as you can only travel "pee distance" from your home. You should really look into therapy for this.
CharresBarkrey 16
I like your comment. I especially like that instead of putting OP down for their fear, you thought about what it's like to have it. Your advice is spot on. I'm ashamed to say that I have this fear as well, and it is incredibly limiting. So much so that I have left group events and gone home early because I had to use the restroom. There are therapists who specialize in this phobia, and it's very helpful.
miss_sqwert 19
could have just flushed it then used its not that hard. what are u 5 or something
BlueFlatts 20
My mental image told me it would have clogged and overflowed. Nevertheless I doubt the toilet seat & stall were clean either. I've got to assume the worst and sometimes toilet paper doesn't help.
SillyGirl4602 23
For Op it is that hard since she has a fear of public restrooms.