Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
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Top comments
omgshaylaaa 0
haha yay dad
hiddydiddy 0
Im sorry, but u have a funny dad :)
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Comments (147)
benderbang48 4
******* emo
xteldridgex 0
please shut your mouth. you knowing absolutely nothing, will help you in this peticular task. thank you. have a good day. :-)
spanelli 16
The OP is a genre of music? Oh shit...
SomePinkTape 0
xteldridgex instead of a comma I think you meant to put "that".
Mysanitywins 10
Coming from what looks like a ten year old :/
rowbot4 0
hopefully you don't get the pink eye!
2fknreaL 0
Awesome family!!! Sounds like something my family would do! The fart game *sigh* memories. Did you have your mouth open? lmao!
maskedman 9
Are you from the Murphy family?
flammenhund 4
Your dad is BOSS!!!!
Mirorbo 27
This sounds like something from that silly tv show my boys watch all the time...
maybaybe 0
Ew, that's so gross :/ and your mother found it funny? Move out as soon as you can, OP.
NGH97 0
hi
Guuurlplease 0
LOL.
xmarkstheheart 0
So...your parents are in preschool? Or were they raised in a frat house?? Worst parents ever.
PahhDee 0
lmao!
xmarkstheheart 0
Farts contain millions of fecal particles. In effect, your dad LITERALLY shit in your face! And those people who think that it's funny need to die. Now. Violently.